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Leave or stick it out?

It's been 4 years that me and my boyfriend have been together. He talks about living together and future, but he hasn't proposed. I brought it up to him several times but he always says that it takes money. I told him that there are people that are struggling but managed to get married, even if it's a small ceremony. Its love. I don't even want to get married right away, I just want to be engaged. An engagement would let me know that he wants me for the long haul, even though he talks about living together. I just want to know for sure. I don't know what I should do.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Aug. 11, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Been with my s/o for almost 30 yrs and I'm still not ready to get married. Does that make me a bad person. We have raised three kids together ( my first from a previous marriage and our 2) and we're doing alright. Marriage is a serious thing. Let him decide when he is ready for it.
    debnich501960

    Answer by debnich501960 at 12:54 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • It doesn't sound like he is interested in marriage, and I think 4 years is more than long enough to wait. I would tell him that I would be moving on with my life. Don't settle for something that isn't what you want to have. You would be better off alone than with someone who was not willing to commit to you. I would tell him that I am done.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:46 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Stick it out
    Val3073

    Answer by Val3073 at 11:01 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • personally i think it's easier to call off an engagement than a living arrangement. based on personal experience... you've been together for FOUR YEARS... what's with the insecurity?
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:03 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I agree after 4 years u should a least be engaged you can make monthly plans for a ring. You can go to the court house and get married.Don't let him waste any more of your time you let him know what the deal is.His ready to live together that cost money too.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 11:34 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I wouldnt pressure him on it, marraige is a big commitment. He will know when hes ready, so I would just stick it out until then. If you think hes in it for the long haul anyway, then what difference would an engagement make?
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 10:44 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I would stick it out a little while longer
    Decker

    Answer by Decker at 10:46 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Engagement rings cost money and a decent one isn't cheap. He may be trying to save and get you something that he feels that you deserve. I have been with my SO for 7 1/2 years. He hasn't proposed yet but he has underlying circumstances with family and I totally understand and respect that. Be patient and follow your heart.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:46 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • 4 years is a long-term relationship, but IDK ~ I don't think I would pressure him. As long as he knows where you stand, and that you are interested in an engagement, leave it at that. If you want to give yourself a "time goal" like .... in 6 months I will discuss it again and at that time reconsider the relationship....that might be a better thing to do. good luck!
    crzymmy5

    Answer by crzymmy5 at 10:54 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • It does not take 4 years, nor does it take that much money to buy a engagement ring. it doesn't have to be real. So he is just making a excuse. If he really wanted to get married, he would have already. Don't waste your life away waiting on a man that is not willing to commit to you. You waited long enough let him know what you require and if he does not take action, you need to.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 1:12 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

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