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4 Bumps

Do your have kids with different fathers...and it shows?

I'm black. I had 2 kids with a black man, and now I'm married and have 2 other kids with a white man. So obviously my kids look different. It shows in public and people have actually asked if they are truly siblings. If there is someone out there with the same issue, please tell me how you deal.

We like to go out as a family and those times are easily ruined when someone makes a comment or asks a weird question. "Is he her brother?" I know some of you gonna say its my fault and I shouldn't have kids with multiple fathers but that's the way my life is now and I can't/won't change it. Any help though?

 
keisha613

Asked by keisha613 at 1:14 AM on Aug. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 26 (26,906 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I can't relate, sorry, but try not to let other people's ignorance affect you too much. It's non of their business and don't be afraid to politely tell them so. Or just simply say yes, they are siblings, and leave it at that. I can't believe people sometimes. My son is black/white and rarely, but it's happened, I get people commenting that he's dark. I don't like to be rude even to people who deserve but when that happens I just want to yell "WOW! YOU'RE SO SMART!" Some people just need to be slapped. Keep your class and know that sometimes you just ARE better than others.
    jessicarae787

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 1:29 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Other than not paying attention to other people's comments, not really. I guess maybe I'm just not approachable, but I have never had anyone say anything to me in public. I don't really make eye contact with anyone though. I'd just pretend I don't understand English or something.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 1:15 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • You shouldnt let people bother you like that. But I understand. What matters is you are happy and you are proud of your family! Im not in that situation...yet. But Im pregnant with a child that has a different dad then my older too.
    Shani527

    Answer by Shani527 at 1:20 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Lol you're not wrong in anyway! I'm white and have 2 kids w my XH who is Italian; my first came out w caramel skin, dark brown eyes and dark brown hair, just like her dad. My second tho came out pale w crystal blue eyes and blonde hair, just like most of my family. His dad continuously asked for a while after I had him if he was truly his son lol. I'm preg now w a dark Hispanic man...I already get questioned a lot if my 2 now are even sibs; I'll be interested to see how people react after I pop this baby out. People are always going to ask as long as your babies don't all look the same, so unless someone is being rude or judgemental, I guess you're just gonna have to learn the phrase "yes, they are real siblings" very well :)
    nappeal

    Answer by nappeal at 1:22 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • You can tell that my boys are brothers because they have my eyes. But if they were standing next to their respective fathers you would know who belongs to who. Don't pay any mind to small minded individuals. Just love your family no one elses opinion matters.
    zadesmom1998

    Answer by zadesmom1998 at 1:28 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Oh and screw anybody that says you shouldn't have kids with different fathers!
    jessicarae787

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 1:29 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • no with different father i have 3 kids with my husband fist two are white just like daddy blue and green eyes and my 3rd one look just like me 100% Latina dark hair tan and brown eyes people can be really harmful what matter is the u happy love ur kids so screw the world on what they think

    evelyn334

    Answer by evelyn334 at 1:34 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • my sister (foster, not blood) has a cousin who is white & her DH is half black/half white. One of their sons looks half black (he's darker then his dad!) and the other looks all white. She gets questioned all the time. On the other hand, people always say my sister & I look alike (not blood related!).
    Screw ignorant people!
    Ashlynnsmommy07

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 1:34 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • People are assholes that's just the bottom line. Long as you are happy screw what other people are saying.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 1:17 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • You have to do make the decision to not let what a stranger says matter too much. They could just be curious and you now have the burden of rethinking of what they said, why they said when it really should not matter. Don't let no one have that power over you. Be strong enough to just answer the one question and then tell them to have a nice day and walk away. Or don't answer at all and just walk away it's up to you.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 1:41 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

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