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2 Bumps

how would you feel?

How would you feel if your DH told you that he thinks it would be better for dd if you went back to work full time and we put her in daycare because being a sahm is obviously to much for you to handle??? How would you respond? I don't know what to say. I am so hurt. I am trying so hard. I try to get everything done around the house and deal with dd's behavior problems (which are OUT of control) but, it is really hard! I don't know what to say to him, I am so hurt right now...I know that he is right in some ways because i feel like i am not a very good mother but, I love her and I try my best...I just don't know what to say to him...thoughts?

Answer Question
 
momofone072506

Asked by momofone072506 at 1:43 AM on Aug. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (1,796 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Tell him"why don't you stay home all day on your day off and take care of the baby, the household chores, cook and then give me some loving in bed after all that? Don't help him at all and let him do EVERYTHING that day!

    He may change his mind and see how your job as a Mommy and Wife fee like.
    AdrianaS

    Answer by AdrianaS at 1:46 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • He is probably just doing his best to be supportive, and daycare or preschool type environments can sometimes help children learn things like boundaries, structure, rules and respect. Maybe a good compromise would be part time day care for your dd for a few hours a week to see if it would help? It might take some time to see a difference, but it is possible it could help.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 1:46 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I say try it and see how it works out. And you are not a bad mother we all makes mistake. Learning from your mistake all comes with parenting.Good luck honey and stop being so hard on yourself.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 1:50 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • You going to work will be paying for the daycare alone is he coo coo?
    But it is really up to you... what do you want to do? GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 1:58 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • wow! thats brutal. Well maybe he should try staying at home and doing everything you do. I'm sure he wouldn't think it'd be easy. I'd be hurt if I were you too and honestly I know I'm not cut out to be a SAHM I get really low self esteem when all I do is stay at home and feel like I'm not contributing to my family. How old is your dd maybe you guys can put her in head start/pre-school. So she can learn and have interaction with other children, I'd let him know that what he said was very hurtful though.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 2:00 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • hubby mentioned it but at the end he found out day care is expensive and i would be paying that so he stop talkin about it
    sometimes guys get frustrated at work and take it on us
    dont feel bad momma hang on just communicate with him
    Leilene07

    Answer by Leilene07 at 2:15 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I can't believe how your hubby is not really understanding what you have to do all day. Staying home is just not all fun and laying around chill-in all day. My hubby has been home with our DD for the past 2 years and he is just know going back to work and we are searching for a daycare for our DD and every single person i have spoke with is that her behavior will improve. She is not an only child but she has been the only child in the home so right now my hubby is going back to work, we are in search for a daycare and my 13 yrs old step-son is moving in with us and all of this will be happening in the next 2-3 weeks. So to me that is just a lot of change and for a 2 year old it has to be a little overwhelming it's a little overwhelming for myself. So my hubby isn't on my ass making me feel like i am a bad momma. No one is perfect youhave done the best you can.

    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:39 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Tell him that it would help you if you could just get a good break now and then...motherhood is 24/7..you don't get payed..you don't get "lunchbreaks" kid free, you don't have co-workers around all the time to talk to and chat with. A little understanding and support from him would be nice when you have to spend so much time alone with the kids in the house all day.
    Heathercurlz

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 2:42 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • If her behavior problems are serious like add or autism like behaviora then seek state help and get her checked with her doctor. You going to work and putting her in a daycare that's not trained to know how to handle this then it will just get worse. Also I would slap my husband for saying such things to me.
    whoreallycares

    Answer by whoreallycares at 9:32 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • im sorry to hear that i think he was just trying to help i think he didnt mean nothing by it but i would tell him how you felt when he told you that yeah that was messed up how he said that to you
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 4:05 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

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