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2 Bumps

What would happen to my daughter if something happened to me...?

Since my mom died at an early age I worry about something happening to me & I have an almost 5 yr old daughter from my 1st marriage and I have full custody of her. Her dad is court ordered to pay child support but doesnt and only comes to see her about once every 10-12 months so she doesnt even know who he is. My husband now has been her "daddy since she was 2 and he's all she's ever known so it worries me that if something happened to me her bio father would be able to get her and it would be like a complete stranger getting her. Would my husband now be able to keep since I'm remarried and I'm the one who has full custody of her? I'm getting my ex's rights taken away and my husband is going to adopt her and Ive already talked to the lawyer about it and will be able to, I just have to pay $2000 so I wont be able to have that money til probably tax time next year. It's really been bothering me about something happeneding to mw.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:06 AM on Aug. 12, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (11)
  • As of now? Bio father will get custody
    if not then it goes down the blood line after that
    So her bio dad
    then your parents
    then her siblings, if there are older siblings

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 5:21 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Thank You :) But after my husband adopts her there is no way her bio father could get her right? I have very good reason for leaving and divorcing him and I dont want my daughter anywhere around him.

    Answer by misspriss_1987 at 5:26 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Until adoption is finalized her bio dad gets her. Your husband in the eyes of the law has no rights to her so even if the bio dad did not take her aunts uncles grandparents of you and your ex would be looked at before a step dad. Sorry this is not the news you where looking for. If her dad is not going to fight the adoption though you can look into filling the papers yourself and than only pay court costs.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 5:26 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Have you thought about writing out a will?! Yeah most likely the bio father will get her if he decided to fight for her but if you were to document all the reasons why he shouldn't and your wishes a judge just might still take that into consideration and rule him out and let your hubby became her guardian since he's been taking care of her also theres alot of judges who listen to the child. I worry about this all the time. I'm married to the father of all of my children but it stil lworries me how he's gonna do it on his own with our 4 children, it's hard enough doing it right now with both of us I can't imagine putting the pressure of raising 4 children alone. ughh!!! I hate thinking about it, I hope God blesses me with atleast 20 more years of life!

    Answer by babyangelromero at 5:27 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • After the adoption is final there is nothing your ex can do to get custody. A half adoption (that is just a name I use not a legal term) is just as biding as an adoption done at birth when both parents adopt the child. Birth moms don't get the child back if something happens to the adoptive parents. Your ex wouldn't either.


    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 5:29 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Big hug for u mama!!! Try not to stress too much every mom have had that same question at some point and I think is normal, but I think is very smart to plan and prepare for the ''what if's'', but itís not healthy for you to have the uneccesary stress just enjoy your family at the max.

    Answer by Lizygoinghooray at 5:30 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Before adoption her bio dad will get her. After your DH will get her. Unless you both die together. Then the bio dad will still get her. MAKE A WILL OUT PLEASE.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:46 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Before adoption her bio dad will get her. After your DH will get her. Unless you both die together. Then the bio dad will still get her. MAKE A WILL OUT PLEASE.

    Are you trying to imply that after adoption the bio-dad will get his daughter back if "stepdad" and bio-mom die. If you are, you are worng. After adoption, bio-dad and his family have NO RIGHTS. The children will go to whoever is to get them in the Will or whoever a judge decides. It will not be the bio dad though.


    Answer by matthewscandi at 4:29 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • well i always thought if anything happen to you the godparent or another relative took the child it anything happened to you

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 7:20 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Thank you guys so much :)

    Answer by misspriss_1987 at 9:59 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

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