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mother in law issues

OK. So ive been with my SO for 5 years this november. I have been very close with his family until they found out i was preg. His mother cried for like 4 months saying we should have waited, always asked to touch my belly (to which i said no...to everyone), and constantly told me what to do and not do. Now that my daughter has been born she is downright mean to me. Comes over all the time unannounced (i politely asked her to just call first becuase when ppl come to the door my dogs go crazy and dont want them waking the baby). Ignores my instructions when she babysits. cont below

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Oct. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • continuation.......Walks in my house, takes my baby from me to hold without saying hello or nothin. After i came home from the hospital ( i had a c section) i was waddling to the babys room for a diaper and she moved me out of the way to wash her hands without offering me any help. Never once offered me help but gets mad if im trying to feed/hold the baby and she has to wait. Also, i work saturdays and needed a sitter so my mom said she would do it and the woman started crying because i never asked her to babysit and insisted she gets the baby every other saturday!!!!!! My SO doesnt see it so he wont stand up for me and i dont know what to do..please help
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • id stand up for myslef. screw what your SO thinks shes just as much your daughter as his. lay down the laww. lock your doors when no ones home if they dont call open the door and polietly say you need to leave im spending time with my daughter. if she doesnt listen to your rules while shes babysitting dont show up at her house to drop your daughter off take her to your moms every saturday whats she gonna do call the police and say she wont let me see my grandchild?? if shes this rude she needs to learn its your daughter your rules. you dont like her and the way she acts if your dont force her to respect you she'll do this forever. she'll straighten up once she realizes shes not gonna be seeing her granddaughter all that much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • its your baby put her in her place thats just uncalled for
    AirealSBuchanan

    Answer by AirealSBuchanan at 4:20 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Girl, keep your doors locked and do not answer when she comes over unannounced! She will eventually get the message.
    rcbrown

    Answer by rcbrown at 4:21 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • How can your SO not see it? And even if he doesn't see it, some consideration is in order. Sit down with him and tell him you need him to help you work out a routine at home. Mention that all visitors need to call; you need babysitters to work with you about your baby's sleeping and eating habits. Decide what is absolutely the most important and factual thing that needs to change and talk to him about him helping with that. As far as her asking to touch your stomach, crying when you got pregnant etc., that's her and you will not change her. Ignore all the little things so you can manage to work out the really big things. You know how she is so you will have to tell her what you expect in your home. Ask her to ask you before she grabs the baby so you don't lose control of her in your arms, etc. You may need to try some extra kindness and forgiveness on your part and hope she comes around.
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 4:30 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • thanks girls.....but one more thing i kist remembered. I have this fear and issue with other people driving her in the car (shes just too little i think) and she asked if she could take the baby to a carnival...uh shes 2 months old..heck no too many germs and i said i appreciate you asking but i would rather people not drive her around for no reason and she looked at me and said "that is ridiculous i have been driving since before you were born, shes MY grandbaby and i want to take her out" to which i responded she is MY daughter and i said no. i just dont want to live out the rest of my life dealing with a woman who uses me for my daughter and doesnt respect me...im so lost
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Continue standing up for yourself. She will get the message. Inform EVERYONE in front of her that they should call before coming over and make everything you want done with your daughter very clear. My MIL gets nervous around kids so usually she has to just be the overseer and my son babysits he is 6 obviously can't be left alone. On the sleeping and eating get a note from her doctor stating what you want done with your daughter and maybe she will get that message. And I wouldn't be taking a 2 month old to a carnival anyways, unless I absolutely had to. There is no fun in that. Good luck!
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 4:53 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • is she just mad cause you had the baby without getting married first. i would get married then and hopefully her attitude would change. i don't it was right for her to take to a carnival but i think it's a bit naive to not let people drive your baby around. even so she should respect that. if you are breast feeding then you would have to go along as well since you have the milk bottles. anyway to the point. i think you guys need to get a few sessions of therapy to work out the issues before they get worse. she is bitter about something and therefore getting you bitter as well. you need to clear the air. a good therapist can help you see things on both sides. i think that is what you should do.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 4:57 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • You're getting what you allow. Are you a woman or a child? Don't let people treat you like that. You are not married to your husbands mother and you don't need his approval on everything. It's going to get worse and worse. Mother's could be a real pain. But they're just like our SO's. They will do to you, whatever you allow. Only you have the power to stop it. Forget about her tears....she can cry herself a river if she wants to.
    SugaB28

    Answer by SugaB28 at 6:10 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • oh man.. I have one of those.. lol.. she got drunk in the hospital when in labor with my son.. she tryed to punch me.. i could go on and on and on.. and my fiance didnt see anything wrong with any of the stuff she did to our family.. but he is slowly starting to.. so there is hope..lol.. he will start to see.. my fiance accually hasnt talked to her in almost a month after the last fight we had with her..
    CodysMommy07

    Answer by CodysMommy07 at 6:16 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

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