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Wanting another baby when the spouse does not?

I think this is a relationship breaker ?


Asked by pinkdragon36 at 11:00 AM on Aug. 12, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • I want another one SOOOOO bad.... my dd is almost 3, and we want a boy to complete our family.... but hubs wants to wait until we move into a house, and not be cramped in our 1 bedroom apartment.... so i kinda understand where he's coming from, but that doesnt make my baby fever go away! :)

    Answer by ShortMommytobe at 11:35 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I think that in a case like this, whomever is saying no has the winning hand. You wouldn't want to bring a child into the world that your husband does. not. want. But, if it's very very important to you, I'd think about why and then present those reasons to DH. And find out what his reason are for NOT wanting to. Try to understand where each are coming from, ya know?

    I've known a few women who wanted more kids simply because they enjoyed being pregnant and liked staying home with babies. But their husbands weren't too keen on more kids because financially, they didn't think it was possible. That's just one example, but in those cases, I think the husbands were being practical.

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 1:10 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Nope, not IMO. If my Dh said no more kids, I would understand, or if I didn't, I would argue with him until I was no longer able to have kids, but I wouldn't divorce him over it.

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 11:02 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I have waited ten years and I know now its not going to happen. I guess I feel I have given up enough just looking to see if anyone else feels the same or what others opinions are.

    Comment by pinkdragon36 (original poster) at 11:27 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I guess it depends on how important your spouse it to you. I've never been in that situation, but I would hope that my dh and I could come to some sort of compromise (like we would have another baby when/if X happens). I stayed with my ex even when I had been told I would probably never conceive by natural means and he refused to use any "unnatural" methods.

    Answer by missanc at 11:49 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • no, it is not a relationship breaker because our relationship wasn't based on how many kids we would or would not have.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:06 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I agree with Buddyroo. Lay out the pro/cons and try to compromise.


    Answer by Cassandre at 1:24 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • THAT is something you need to discuss and agree on BEFORE you get married.

    Answer by gertie41 at 3:08 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • We have 2 boys and DH wants another. I am done - I'm the one who carries them and stays home with them, BFs forever, etc. I am just starting to get my life back and he understands that. He just misses the little baby stage. A partnership means compromise - you work things out to meet the needs of everyone. A deal breaker? I think a deal breaker is abuse, addiction or abandoning your family for your own selfish needs. Wanting to wait or only have 1 or 2 kids does not a deal break make, IMO, abandon ship for that?? sounds silly to me.

    Answer by LisaLulu at 10:19 PM on Aug. 12, 2010