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My husband will leave my 2 year old and 11 month old alone to go take smoke breaks when he's watching them by himself.. what do you think??

I'm starting to get worried because my husband will just leave our boys alone in the house while he goes outside to smoke. I'm glad he smokes outside and that he doesn't want the boys to see him doing it, but I also know how much trouble they can get into in the 3-4 minutes that they aren't being watched and it worries me. Is there a good solution without having to go through the whole arguement with him about about quiting smoking???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Oct. 6, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • I'd say it's good he goes outside to smoke for the sake of the children. Get a baby monitor that he can take outside with him so he can hear them and tell him to stand by a window so he can see in. Or I suppose he can bring them outside to play with him.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 4:57 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • As long as he can see them than I would think it would be okay. I would make sure he understands that it takes two seconds for something really bad to happen. Especially with those two ages. I know how you feel though. My BF smokes and would go out to smoke when our little one was asleep. I would get so mad at him for it and he didn't understand because she was asleep. I'm always afraid there's going to be a fire though and we won't be able to get to her.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 4:59 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I would put the kids in a playpen just while he goes outside and have him take a baby moitor with him so he can hear them.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 5:10 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I don't mind him doing it when the kids are asleep so much... but when they are both awake it bugs me. Especially our 2 year old... it takes him about a mili-second to get into things (or get mad at his brother getting his things and hit him)... and he's worse when he's alone with Daddy anyhow because DH (as I think most men) doesn't pay as close attention to him. Anyhow...he won't smoke by a window because he doesn't want the kids to see him smoking. It's just so darn frustrating... I wish he would just quit smoking all together but we won't go there, ugh.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I guess I do it all the time - I'm a SAHM and a farmers wife. I'm always home alone with the kids & sometimes I just need to get out!!! My boys can drive me up the wall some days & it's nice to take a break. Sometimes, I just go out quick to check the garden or to burn some garbage..either way, I take a baby monitor out with me & turn it on periodically to make sure there's no screaming or crying...otherwise, I know they'll be ok. everything's baby-proofed & the older kids know what to & what not to get into - just make sure your oldest knows that daddy's going out for a couple of minutes - maybe shut the door to the bedroom or something so they're in the one room where the baby monitor is at...can't get into too much trouble in their own room.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I am a SAHM and I have 3 little kids, and I smoke. if you are that worried about it then have him take a moniter outside. I just stand by the french doors that look into the house when I do. I think that you may be worring about this just a little too much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • im a single mom of a 4yr old and i smoke too..ive always just left my daughter while i go out..but shes a good kid she doesnt get into stuff like that around the house..worse thing i catch her doing is sneaking into the fridge to grab a yogurt..lol..but yaa, if youre that worried tel him to use the baby monitor..or put them in a playpen or something..
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 12:14 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I AGREE COMPLETELY ABOUT THE BABY MONITER, AND I LOVE THE FACT THAT HE DOESNT WANT THEM TO SEE IT. IF HE ISNT GOING TO QUIT ANYTIME SOON, THEN ATLEAST SET A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR THE KIDS. I DO NOT THINK THAT YOU ARE WORRING TOO MUCH, THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS A CHILD COULD GET HURT OR EVEN DIE IN THE FEW MINUTES IT TAKES TO SMOKE A SIG. I DONT SMOKE BUT MY HUBBY DOES. HE STANDS OUTSIDE THE WINDOW, SINCE OUR DAUGHTER IS BABY-GATED INTO THE LIVING ROOM. WE HAVE A VERY SMALL APARTMENT AND ALL HER TOYS ARE IN THERE. HE CAN SEE HER FROM THE WINDOW, BUT IF I WAS IN YOUR CASE I WOULD GET A BABY MONITER, AND SOMEHOW KEEP THEM IN ONE BABY SAFE ROOM, WITH THE MONITER. GOOD LUCK AND DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WORRING TOO MUCH!
    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 2:21 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Just baby-proof really well if you are worried. I don't think anything can happen in that short time. He would hear them cry.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 3:59 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • HE WOULD NOT HEAR THEM CRY IF THEY WERE CHOKING ON SOMETHINS SO ONCE AGAIN I DISAGREE. AND I AM SORRY THEY IS NO WAY THAT ANY HUMAN COULD MAKE ANY ROOM COMPLETELY BABY PROOF AND GUARANTEE THERE IS NOTHING THEY COULD FIND AND CHOKE ON. IF THERE IS A BED IN THE ROOM THE COULD FALL AND HIT THEIR HEAD JUST RIGHT AND BECOME UNCONSCIOUS. I DONT MEAN TO BE MORBID, BUT THIS IS HOW I THINK. NO THERE IS NO WAY THAT WE CAN KEEP THEM SAFE THERE HOLE LIVES, BUT WHY WOULD WE NOT DO IT WHEN WE CAN.
    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 1:23 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

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