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Do you think this is fair? How would you approach your parents?

So my parents always charge me when my kids want to sleep over at their house. I normally don't mind, however there are some times when it just really ticks me off. I get upset because they don't stay their very often, however my sisters three boys are at their house constantly. Her boys attended a camp that was closer to my parents house, so they have been there all summer. My sister does not pay them anything for her boys being there. I know this because I have asked her (my sister) who says she dosen't pay them anything. Now when my girls want to spend one night, I have to pay $20. They say, oh because they have to buy snacks and things, but even when I bring snacks for them I still have to foot the $20 bill. Most of the time, it is not me asking if my girls can sleep over, it is the girls who want to because they miss thier grandparents, so I feel bad not letting them go. What should I do?

 
sheloveearth

Asked by sheloveearth at 11:52 AM on Aug. 12, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 19 (7,921 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • It's wierd, it's not fair and you should ask.
    If you don't like the answer, then keep your kids and your $20.

    If the were providing childcare or taking them somewhere special that would be different. But if you are letting them stay for a family time visit... those should be free.

    I do like the idea to charge them for your time if they come over for dinner...lol! In theory anyway... I think it would be too rude to do, but funny to fanatize about.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 6:53 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Honestly, if it were me I would just ask them. I would tell them, "Look, I am not trying to be mean, but my sister told me that she does not pay you anything when her kids stay over, and yet you always expect me to pay you. Why is that? I am not trying to be hateful, but that really hurts my feelings. It makes me feel like you do not look at us the same way, or even all of your grandchildren the same.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 12:13 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I'm a very straight forward person. I would ask straight out whats going on. Or better yet, invite them over for dinner then after, present them with a bill, telling them you had to buy groceries, see what the response is,
    JCGoneLoony

    Answer by JCGoneLoony at 11:56 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • that's pretty crazy. Most grandparents would want their grandkids to come over and feel happy to have them there, as long as it wasn't like all the time, but ykwim? I would be very upset, especially when you provide everything they need and they really don't need to spend anything. That's crap. I think maybe I wouldn't let them spend the night anymore, and if your parents ask why, then I'd probably say something like well, i figured since you charge everytime it's putting you out, or you don't want them over, or something like that. Maybe they'll realize having them is more of a blessing than they think and will see the flip side. Good luck, that would really hurt my feelings, espcially since they don't charge your sister. Have you ever sat them down and asked them about?
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 11:56 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I'm shocked!! I can't even imagine charging my kids to watch the grandchildren....maybe if I was watching them as daycare while they worked, but other than that, I'll be begging to have the grandchildren over, and it would be my pleasure to pick out and make special snacks and treats for them. I'm not sure how you should approach that one.

    I do think you can ask why you are charged and your sister isn't. I'm so sorry.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:59 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I would flat out ask why your kids are charged and your sis's kids aren't
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 11:55 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Agree with layh41407. I find that strange any GP would ask for money. I would stay with my GM 1 week a year and she never asked my mom for a dime.
    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 11:56 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Wow! that's messed up! I'm sorry you...I guess though that if you want your children to have time with the "grandfolks"...you just have to foot the bill...but I would ask why you are being treated unfairly and unequally.
    Heathercurlz

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 12:04 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • What? They charge you? The only time I've ever heard of this happening is when the other parents would be taking your kid somewhere like an amusement park that charges an entrance fee. Sounds to me like they're taking advantage of the situation.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 12:07 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • i would love to see my gb every day and no charge .tell your parents you would like recite for their care so you can claim it on your taxes
    if they don't have one for you tell them you no longer give them money .and ask gp to come down for a visit ask them they stay the night
    make a list of all the things they use or have,coffee bacon eggs toast $4.95 add it up before they leave to go home hand them the bill it will be more then $20. if they give you dirty look tell them it will cost money see your gk .it is almost like they really don't want to see or be near your kids.my mother law said she did not want to babysit her grand kids .so my kids never was baby sat by her by the time the other gk came along she was watching all the time.but my kids she watch them twice and bitch about . i felt sorry for her she never really got to see how great kids they where.even now my adult kid don't want to go to their gp.so sad
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 12:20 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

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