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I need some help finding counseling or something......

Im having a really hard time dealing with my 3 year old. I mean a REALLY hard time. I think I may need counseling or anger management. Maybe parenting classes? This is whats happening: she has a really bad attitude. Screaming tantrums multiple times a day, cries all day 2-3 times a week, cries when shes told no or disciplined. (Im surprised my neighbors havent called the cops on me, because its REALLY bad most of the time)
And i cant handle it. I completely lose it on her sometimes. Im borderline abusive I think. she gets spanked about everyday. Im always yelling at her. Ive called her stupid before, Ive cusseda t her. I know non of this is okay, but sometiems I just cant seem to control myself when shes behaving extrememly bad. I completely lose it.
I dont know what to do. Who should call?
I know Im going to get bashed, but I dont really care. I know its completely horrible.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Aug. 12, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (12)
  • where do you live?
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 12:31 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Well recognizing the problem and asking for help is the first step. Good luck.
    coder_chick

    Answer by coder_chick at 12:34 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • You've identified the problem, and yes, parenting classes might help. Call St. Vincent Catholic Charities. No, you don't have to be Catholic. And no, the parenting classes aren't "religion" based. They're just the group that runs many successful parenting classes, most of them free. It's good that you know you need help. Good luck.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 12:36 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • You can call her pediatrition and ask them to recommend a place to you. That's who I always call when I have questions about anything. It's possible that her attitude is reflected from the way you react to her. If she sees or hears yelling she only knows to do the same thing. It can be really tough! Certainly check with the doc and just explain that you'd like to see a family counselor or you can call your doctor and express that you're really stressed out and that you would like someone to talk to regarding parenting. I wish you the best of luck and keep in mind she's little and she isn't doing it delibrately ;)
    littlestar85257

    Answer by littlestar85257 at 12:37 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • uve dont the first step ,, identified a problem , and asked for help
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 12:40 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Definitely call either your PCP or your pediatrician and ask them to refer you to a therapist. The sooner, the better. Take a deep breath, mama, your daughter is just testing her boundaries. I know it's tough. Being a parent always is. Kids know how to push our buttons better than anyone else. But you have identified that you have a problem and that you want to get help. Get the help you need and I promise you, you'll be feeling better soon enough. Good luck!
    kathria

    Answer by kathria at 12:47 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • You might want to call your medical insurance provider up and ask for the list of professionals they cover for anger management or behavioral therapy. You may also want to have your daughter looked at as well. That doesn't sound like typical behavior to me for a 3 year old. Maybe she has some underlying medical issue you aren't aware of.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 1:53 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I second the idea of talking to the pediatrician. They are there to help parents deal with all kinds of situations, including this one. And please ask for someone to check on your daughter, too. I agree that her behavior doesn't sound right.

    I'm really glad to see that you are looking for help. Just a piece of advice, keep working on some way to better deal. Don't give up. And celebrate the small improvements! Every step forward is a good thing.

    In the meanwhile, is there someplace you can put her where she will be safe when you start feeling like you will loose it? Sometimes it's better to just put her in her room or somewhere else where she will be safe for 5 minutes, and walk away. You can calm down a bit and then come back when you feel more together.

    Good luck to both of you!!
    Sebbiemama

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 2:43 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • give yourself a mommy time out from her. If she knows her acting that way gets u all worked up she is not going to stop.
    jdpsmom08

    Answer by jdpsmom08 at 3:18 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • The other ladies have given good advice without bashing, which is nice since you said you know it is a problem and you are looking for help. Also, keep in mind that she is learning the yelling and temper tantrums through your actions when she makes you mad....therefore is acting out when you make her mad. A counselor can help you with that cycle, but just remember that if you stay calm, it will help her stay calm.

    Good luck!
    Glowing4Caleb

    Answer by Glowing4Caleb at 3:52 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

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