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Spin Off Who's right me or him...I made him leave over this

So many people answered my question and they keep saying the rule that my hubby has to leave if an argument escalates to yelling needs to go away.

ITS NOT GOING AWAY. HE HAS A COURT ORDER TO LEAVE IF I WANT HIM TO LEAVE.

2 years ago he caught a nice little domestic violence charge for punching me, yes it happened once, yes I stayed, no he hasn't actually hit me again but that is why the rule is there because he acts like a little kid and has no control, so the judge put a nice little kid rule on his ass, which I LOVE and FOLLOW to the T. It makes me feel safer knowing I have this rule, so again it's not going anywhere.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Aug. 12, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I didn't read your other post, but I think that's a great rule. I've been in scary situations where people lose control of their anger, and I'd much rather have one person leave voluntarily (or the other person's request) rather than by ambulance or police car.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 1:51 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Then leave him I replied about your rule that I thought it was unfair but I was not aware of that court order and to me if their is a court order like that leave him there is no point being with someone you fear may hurt you! To me if you need a rule like that there is something wrong in that relationship. I like to think I don;t need to force my partner to leave when things get heated! I still could not be kicking my partener in the street but if he hit me I'd be so gone...
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 2:05 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • i am honestly not bashing you, but this sounds like a horribly dyfunctional relationship. while he obviously still has a ton of unresolved issues himself, it concerns me that you dont hold yourself accountable for any of the problems in the relationship. problems are never 100% one person's fault. he obviously has no right to be abusive to you (physically or verbally) but i cant help but feel that you feed into it as well. you need to work on your own issues wether or not you choose to stay with him.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 3:27 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • The rule is there for your safety, I would keep it, too. Thankfully your husband listens to it, and I am glad to hear he hasn't hit you again. Obviously since he hasn't hit you again the rule is effective. I hope it stays this way!
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 1:53 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • yes, lol, but I can tell when he's getting to the point.
    He has steps of aggression which helps, and he knows it. He starts to talk and talk and talk, really fast, not letting anyone get a word in then he comes very close to running into me, then its LEAVE every time

    he mostly does it on his own, but when he's trying to make a point he needs to be reminded.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:56 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • The first time the man every hit you; i think you should have left! When a man that hits there spouse dont stop abusing! it will continue! just bcz he hasnt done it for a while doesnt mean he will never do ti again! JMO
    liltinymommy

    Answer by liltinymommy at 2:02 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I think it is a good rule, and I would stick to it.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 2:05 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • yeah the rule is good to have but i think you are right
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 2:06 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • It sounds like he's really working on his anger issue.I used to have alot of anger.I chose to go to Anger Management and learned the tools to help me.Also as I got older, I matured alot too.
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 2:44 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • IDK, I let him in for a little, so he can make himself something to eat and spend a couple minutes with his son then he needed to leave.

    Basically it's like this, I'm not "leaving" him because I'm staying in my home, he has the free will at this point to find a new residence, I do not care, my life alters but a little bit not having him around.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:05 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

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