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3 Bumps

What can I say when co workers ask about my stillborn baby without being rude?

i lost so much weight because i am sad, and they (co workers ) say whats my secret, i said - half of my soul died with my baby

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bluestar0901

Asked by bluestar0901 at 4:22 PM on Aug. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • tell them its to hard to talk about it. I'm sorry for you lost.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:23 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I would just say I do not want to talk about it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:24 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Oh, Bluestar0901, my heart breaks for you. I think you should tell your co-workers that you have been grieving the loss of your child.
    RoostersMom4

    Answer by RoostersMom4 at 4:24 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. You could just say grief, maybe that'll be enough for them to leave you be
    MamaSarah1104

    Answer by MamaSarah1104 at 4:25 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I'm so sorry. Just tell them you know they are trying to be nice, but you don't want to talk about it.
    Hazelnutkin

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 4:25 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I agree w/ Louise. Tell them you are not ready to talk about it.
    modaddict17

    Answer by modaddict17 at 4:26 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Did they know you were pregnant? It sounds like they didn't and they're really just trying to compliment you. If it were me, I would do it with one email. I would send an email to a trusted coworker and say, "I know people are trying to be nice when they compliment me on my weight loss. But it was unintentional. I lost my baby and am not doing well--hence losing the weight. Could you please spread the word? I can't. I just don't want to talk about it."

    The reason I would be flat out honest about it is that in lieu of information, people make things up and gossip.
    BuddyRoo

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 4:28 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I think it would be rude for them to bring it up..will they really ask? Its kinda one of those things when you are ready to talk about it then they can discuss it with you otherwise hopefully they can be respectful otherwise I woould say its hard to talk about at this time but appreciate their thoughts. I am so sorry for your loss....
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 4:29 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Just say thanks. If they go further say it's too upsettting to discuss. I lost a DD and if people don't at least their sorry, somethimes you think they don't care. I'm sorry for your loss, it's very painful.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 4:29 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I've been in your shoes before....7 years ago to be exact. I let people know that our family had experienced the loss of our child and left it at that. I was gentle in my responses and didn't expound much further.
    I am so very sorry for your loss and if you need to talk, please contact me. My dd was stillborn 7 years ago at 36 weeks.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 4:29 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

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