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please help me advise my bro!! :)

My 22yr old little brother has been dating this girl(Karley) for about 6months now. Her best friend is a guy(Alex). Well my brother recently found out that Alex cheated on his girlfriend with Karley for about 5months, a few months before my brother and Karley met. Evidently he and Karley have been talking about it lately because it makes my brother uncomfortable. She has made it very clear that she does not regret anything with Alex, nor does she think she did anything wrong (she says Alex's girlfriend is a 'bad' person who doesn't deserve Alex...). Now my brother is asking for my advice on how to handle the situation. He says he really loves her, but he wonders if he can really trust her knowing how the situation with Alex occurred, and knowing she and Alex are still good friends......any advice on advice I could give him??? lol thanks!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Aug. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I wouldn't want to be with someone who thinks cheating is okay, If her friends girlfriend was so bad then why didn't he break up with her.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:03 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • If they're talking about it and she has been open and honest with him then I think he needs to keep his eyes open but realize that it happened before he was around. If it had been so great for them as a couple, she wouldn't have been out looking for your brother.

    He could also just let her know that he is a bit uncomfortable with the situation. And while he knows they are close friends, he would prefer that until he is more comfortable that they keep their get togethers public.
    BuddyRoo

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 5:04 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I think she has feelings for the other guy, he should just let her go...JMO
    DeeMarie87

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 5:06 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I wouldnt want to be with someone who cheated. I wouldnt be able to trust them.
    Autumnmom24

    Answer by Autumnmom24 at 5:07 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I agree with the statement that maybe she has feeling for this other guy she cheated with, and there would be an issue knowing she didn't think that cheating was a bad thing. I would tell your brother to consider this relationship or to at least make it clear how he feels about cheating to her, so there is no misunderstanding.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:14 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • If I understand correctly, it wasn't that long ago that she was messing around with another girl's boyfriend, and doing that for 5 months. So really I don't see why it matters that she was honest with him about it. What she and Alex did was wrong. Period. Honestly, I don't think your brother will be able to be comfortable with her and for good reason.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 5:14 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Have you talked with him about it at all? This relationship is bound to self-distruct on its own. But he's going to get hurt. It's bothering him pretty bad I guess. She obviously thinks cheating is ok. This guy could have just ending that relationship. And who knows if that girl was really a bad person to begin with. It's a messy situation. He should either accept what's going on, and live with it knowing she will sooner or later cheat on him, or end it now. I think the best thing to do is to not tell him what you would do, that will come back to bite you in the ass. But do give him his options. Let him tell you the facts as he knows them, and remind him that they may not be facts after all. Remind him he needs to try and look at things from all angles, and consider his options. If he has his options put there for him, he may see something he hadn't thought of. He can make a better decision.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:19 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Many people will probably not like my answer, but here it is. I think if someone can get past the morality issue of cheating (or knowingly helping someone else cheat) then there is nothing to keep him/her from cheating again. If they had been together for a long time then there may be something left to hang on to, but you said they have only been dating for 6 months. He needs to get away from that before he gets hurt. The girlfriend is obviously not over her friend.
    Saphie

    Answer by Saphie at 5:45 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I think her behavior is a huge statement about her character. You can ask your brother if this is the kind of person he wants to invest his heart and trust in. I think he should move on and find someone with better character. Anyone who can justify cheating will be able to justify anything. GL
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:40 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

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