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2 Bumps

What to do if a biological parent can not do visitation that week?

A coworker of mine is having an issue with his ex wife. They have four kids together and he gets his kids two non consecutive nights during the week, as well as every other weekend. He occasionally has had to travel for work. He had informed his ex wife of that he would be unable to get the kids during that time, as he would not be home. This has only happened twice so far this year, but she has now called her lawyer about this. Apparently, the ex wife expects his current wife to pick up the kids and keep them even though their father is not at home.

There are times my ex husband can not get our son and I just chalk it up to life. My ex husband has even had personal, not just business reasons to cancel visitation. I would NEVER expect his current wife to pick up my son and just keep him if his father wouldn't be there.

Do you think if the biological parent is unable to, the step parent should do visitation instead?

Answer Question
 
layh41407

Asked by layh41407 at 5:07 PM on Aug. 12, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 36 (79,415 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • No. My husband would do it anyway, simply because he loves my kids (we have custody and their dad has visitation) but I don't think a stepparent should be required to do it.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 5:11 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • yes i do because when you marry someone with kids-you agree to "marry" those kids. It isnt the bio moms fault or problem that the father has to work, that has nothign to do with her. a court order is a court order and if dad and step mom are unhaoppy, they need to go back to court. ,meanwile there are a couple kids not undwerstanding why someone , anyone , didnt come get them. The father needs to change his priorities-work or kids. jmo
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 5:11 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • If we are scheduled to have them and something comes up that prevents it, we make up our time ASAP. Alot of times my husband gets sent out of town for work and we have SD's, but I always keep them. My husband and his ex are pretty good about working visitation problems. We have rarely not been able to take them to make up time.
    KamiB79

    Answer by KamiB79 at 5:15 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I agree 100% ith Bearsjen!
    KamiB79

    Answer by KamiB79 at 5:16 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I'm surprised BM wants SM to take kids. SM shouldn't be required, but I would take them, if it were me, as the SM.
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 5:17 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I personally feel that if my son's dad is not going to be with him, then he should be with me. It's not her visitation, it's his.
    Just like tonight. He was supposed to have visitation tonight, but he got called out to work, instead, he is picking him up tomorrow morning for a few hours.
    layh41407

    Comment by layh41407 (original poster) at 5:17 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • absolutey not, because the whole reasoning behind visitation is so that, that parent can spend time with his or her child!! not the stepparents!!! my ex never sees his daughter anymore, but when he did, there was no way i would let MYYY daughter go with his woman (they werent married, but still..)
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 5:27 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I think it depends on the parties involved. It's Dad's time, not step-mom's, so if Dad wants to give it up that's his right. If Dad wants step-mom to be with the kids and mom is okay with that, they should go that route.

    There is no 'one size fits all' answer to this question. Too many people involved all with an opinion. All the involved parties can do is try to find an acceptable compromise.

    When my ex can't take our daughter for whatever reason I don't get pissy and expect his wife to take them. I'm stoked to have a few extra days with my kid.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 5:32 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I think if the step-parent wants visitation, than there shouldn't be a problem, but I don't think it should be forced. My step-son stays with us, even while my husband is working, and I love having him around. Of course he also has two brothers here that love him and love spending time with him, so it's no just about visitation for him and dad anymore, it's about him and his brothers as well. But we are very flexible with his ex-wife, and she is very flexible with us. If ever there is a time when we can't have visitation, or when she wants to keep him during our time, we can usually work out an agreement.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 7:07 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • no if the parent that has visitation right is not able to pick up the kids then the other parent should stay with them until the next time the other parent has visitation
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 7:11 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

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