Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

low sex drive. what to do? adult content

i have no desire in fore play or any sex with dh because i just dont want too. i started to have sex young which i do regret (before my dh, im his second hes been with) so a lot has to do with my past, abusive ex bf.. nothing gets me in the mood but hes always in the mood. we have 3 kids 5 & 4 yrs old and a 4 month old. im tired, stressed, sad at times.. no not depression because i seen a counselor and she said i dont have it.. i dont know what to do.. Also something important if we do have sex every single time it burns when his penis comes in contact with my vagina lol i dont know why. its like im allergic to it. he can wash it with water only and it still burns.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Aug. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • U lost the desire to have sex with him..ur not lurbicating which causes it 2 burn..does he kno about this?
    Im sorry mama but maybe is the fact your stressed w havin 3kids..u guys should plan a date and enjoy ur time w him w/o being sexual
    Leilene07

    Answer by Leilene07 at 6:41 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • ya he knows. but lube in general makes it worse.. we cant do nothing alone because theres no family around or friends to watch our kids plus i breastfeed my 4 month old
    busybumblebe848

    Answer by busybumblebe848 at 6:42 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Have you tried lubricants? Maybe you are dry because you're not in the mood, which could give you a burning sensation, I suppose. Stress can make you not want it. How often are you sad? And being tired doesn't help. Is this recent or have you always felt this way? You could possibly have PPD. Have you seen an actual therapist, or just a counselor?
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 6:44 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • counselor only.. no ppd.. im happy with my kids.. its always been this way with us because when i met him i told him i wasnt interesting in sex.. i wanted to have kids and get married.. but sex shouldnt be the base of marriage. i had a lot of sex partners growing up so when i found my DH all i wanted was attention, romance and cuddling. Sex never came across my mind. of course we would have it but i can go for months well 15 months with out sex (he was deployed that long) and i was never interested in sex..
    busybumblebe848

    Answer by busybumblebe848 at 6:47 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • im sorry to hear that but maybe you can use lube or yeah just have a date with each other to get the love back but i do hope everything works out for you
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 6:49 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I have a similar problem. I don't want sex but the dh does. We go for a long time without having it and every now and then I'll give it to him just so he will leave me alone. I hope everything works out for you and I'm sorry I can't really help but i'm here if you want someone to talk to and know you're not alone.
    Tab2

    Answer by Tab2 at 7:14 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I was just reading about this actually. This is going to sound backwards, but its been my experience that it WORKS. The best way to get your libido back is TO HAVE SEX. Even if you are not in the mod, give it a few minutes, & more than likely, you will be. Or it might take a few times to get back in the groove, but it will come back to you. Its like....you don' know what you got til its gone kind of thing Also, it is incredibly important to have EVERYONE, kids especially, on a schedule. Get the kids on one, get your house hold duties on one, you get on one, plan it around your hubby's schedule. Get as much done before he gets home, so that you guys can just focus on each other when he gets home.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 2:36 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN