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3 Bumps

how do you get throw a divorce

my hubbie and are getting a divorce how do i deal with the hurt and pain i an getting the paper for that it is just so hard and i have my daughter

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Asked by tanyamac at 9:43 PM on Aug. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Well, I thankfully had no children when my first hubby and I divorced. It's hard. Depends on the situation too. Some are easier to get over, I am sure. I was in a physically agressive relationship. It evolved to me becoming physical back after a couple years. Also manipulative, being lied to, cheated on (several times)....over time it made me absolutely crazy. I was better off without him. My parents begged me to get out of it and one day the 2 of us just ended it. But time heals really. I don't ever have to see him, unlilke you, since you have a child together. I passed him on the road today but at least that sick feeling wasn't there how it used to be. It sucks, but you just have to give it time.

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 9:49 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • This will take a long time to get over and don't feel like you have to be okay with this. There is no set time for healing from this.

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. Do you have a good support system around you? Friends, family? Someone you can get together with and talk to when you need to? Have you considered going to someone for therapy? You have a lot of hurt and pain in you, I'm sure, and having someone to talk to professionally has helped many of my friends who have gotten divorced.

    With time, you will heal and this will be a distant memory. For your daughter's sake, try to stay civil with him as much as possible, because most likely you'll have to see him often if you share custody. Good luck mama and best wishes.

    Answer by kathria at 10:13 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • i initiated my divorce, so it wasnt nearly as hard on me as yours may be on you...but, eventhough it was my choice, i randomly broke down to one of my college professors during a meeting. until then i didnt even realize that i was upset over it...i was upset at all the time and engergy i had wasted and all the opportunities i had let pass me by for my ex. i think it's important to go out with friends and go out on dates (even if you're not sure you like the guy, the practice is good for your selfesteem). really, it just takes time. it will take less time though if you move on with your life rather than staying at home and being sad.

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 10:20 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I was THRILLED to get out of my marriage, so the only words of advice I can give is to see a counselor/therapist/psychiatrist/whatever. Good luck.

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 2:27 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • divorce care ( support group for those going thru divorce-you can find a group online) church/faith in God, books on the subject. one really close best girlfriend (preferably who has been thru it) as a support buddy ( preferably came out healthy and not jadded) also someone who you can call at 1am and just talk and they listen to you-just listen -when you hit a really bad night. an antidepressent for a year or less just to help a little. dive into activities that you are interested in or love..take up a hobby-nuture yourself. have some goals for yourself that you are excited about and take small steps to achieve them. exercise

    this is what I did
    also I didn't date for 18 months just to heal and give to myself....

    Answer by cattiesmom78 at 12:37 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • thank you so very much i have my mom but sometimes i readly do not like to talk to her so i have to find some other way to talk out my feeling but she is there for me

    Comment by tanyamac (original poster) at 2:46 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

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