Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

please help me...

my little sister is pregnant again...she had twins in nov 09 and cant take care of them but now she is with this new dude and she is pregnant with his baby...he blamed it on her at first but now that i said i would take it when it is born they are getting along now i guess...she is only 18 and has 2 and 1 on the way...i am not too sure about how i am going to take care of three kids but i am gonna have to cuz i love her and i want to be there for her..i just hope she dosent in a year want to take the baby back after me and my husband get all attached to it...she is good for doing stuff like that...my husband is going to school and might have a job at a pizza place down the street so we dont have alot of money..but i dont know what to do

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Aug. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I would take care of the child with the expectation that she will probably want it back some day. Keep that in the back of your mind so that it doesn't kill you as bad when it actually happens. You are a good person!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:49 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • If you're going to take care of this baby I would discuss some sort of open adoption. Therefore, your sister could still see the baby, but you would parental rights.
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 10:50 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • If she doesn't want it and your welling to take it do it legally. Have her sign her rights over
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 10:50 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • Has she considered adoption? It might take the pressure off both you and her. If you do take the baby, make it legal so she cant come after him/her whenever she feels like it.
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 10:51 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I know u want to help out but this is her problem she needs to take responsibility for her actions. If I were you I wouldn't tell her u will take her kids that would just make her feel like it is ok to get pregnant anywaynshe has a sister who will be her back up....nomu need to show her that it is not ok she needs to take care of her kids. GL on this one don't let her run over you bc u will be the one who will be hurt.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:52 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • you would go for custody. and i would make it clear that she cant keep having kids and having me raise them for her. if you take the kids they become your kids, even if they still call you aunt, and they know their birth mother is your sister you can be momma. i think that if you didnt go for custody you are in for a world of hurt-like you said she is good at doing that. but if you do it legally you have a chance to get help from the state like wic, or food stamps for the child, or money for adoption/ fostering the child. there is help out there, you just have to find it. i'd stop in at the county assistantance office to see what your options could be. best of luck. you and your hubby will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    candle5

    Answer by candle5 at 10:52 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • Tough love! You're to kind to take care of children that you can hardly afford. Your sister needs to stand in her own. Yes you feel sorry for her because of she is young and on her 3rd child. But you can not pail her out of trouble all the time. You might put your own family in trouble. Let your sister get help from the state or someone else. It is hard times out there! Don't drag your family down with your sister actions.
    bmwlover

    Answer by bmwlover at 10:53 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • Can you try to obtain legal custody of the baby?
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:55 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • You have several options. You can adopt the baby and she can't take it back. You can get attached and let her take it back and everyone be upset. You can raise the baby with love knowing it is your sisters and give her her baby if and when she is ready and not be upset even if you don't approve. It is possible to do this.


    If she had a c-section the first time this c-section is going to be dangerous because she got pregnant so soon and she may not be able to have any more babies. That may make a difference in everyone's decision. She may want to have an abortion because this pregnancy is dangerous and save her baby having ability for later. It may even be considered a medically necessary abortion. Something to consider.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 10:57 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I agree with the other moms she did do this to herself. But for you to try to gain custody of the baby you have to have the agreeance of the father as well. But you shouldnt take responsibility if its gonna ruin your own family. I have to say i can relate my younger sister is the same way she had a child every year for the last 3 years and now she has no life no job and a lazy husband. And she cries for help on one hand but wont accept it on the other which i think is stupid to. But i dont know i think shes going crazy but she wont admit it and my mom just passifies it like its not going on. GL try to do your best but dont look to far into it k at least try not to.
    apiegurl

    Answer by apiegurl at 11:05 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN