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Should I let her be the flower girl?

My nephew is getting married this December. His fiance has asked if my almost 3 year old daughter will be the flower girl. Even though we have a large family, there are no other children in the wedding. In fact I have been told by the bride to be that there will be no guests at the reception under the age of 21. Neither of my daughters are welcome to stay for the reception. The dress that has been chosen for my daughter to wear to an outside December 10 minute wedding is sleeveless and costs $100. The cost isn't really the issue and I wouldn't even be questioning letting her be the flower girl if she was going to be at the reception. Any input? The bride to be has given me a deadline of this Sunday to get back to her. Thank you in advance.

Answer Question

Asked by TheNeverLady at 11:32 AM on Aug. 13, 2010 in Entertainment

Level 5 (86 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • they are having a december wedding and want a 3yo in a sleeveless dress?! and YOU have to pay for it even though no other children are gonna be in the wedding or even welcome at the reception?! yeah i would probably pass, unless you are really close with your nephew and his fiance, in which case i would ask to help pick out a different dress and/or split the cost? and suggest that your kids be allowed at the reception :P

    Answer by DreainCO at 11:39 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • Say no. Bringing her there and going through the whole rehearsal, dress-buying thing just to have to send her home with a sitter is too much to deal with at her age.

    Answer by SWasson at 11:39 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I would decline the offer. I asked that no children under a certain age come to my wedding, except for the flowers girls and ring bearer. They should definitely be allowed to come! They're part of the wedding! I would tell her that it's inconvenient for you to have to told the kids home before the reception. Personally, I think she's being rude. I also think she should pay for the flower girl dresses!

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 11:40 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I would pass. Unless she is willing to foot the money for the dress, I wouldn't spring $100 on a dress that she gets to wear for 30 minutes and can't come to the reception.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:40 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • Well, a lot of people have "adult only" wedding receptions, although generally the flower girl can stay at the reception. I know this means that you have to leave the wedding and take your daughter to a babysitter in between.

    I think it depends on where the reception and your childcare are, and how close you are to this cousin. If you're close to your cousin, and it's not unreasonable for you to take your child to the babysitter before going on to the reception, I would say go for it.

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:41 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I would pass too.

    Answer by older at 11:41 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I have a very close relationship with my nephew. I helped raise him and his siblings. That's the only thing making this decision hard. I have been to "adult only" receptions as well and the children in the wedding are always at the reception. But in this case she was assuming that my 17 year old daughter would come to the wedding and take my 3 year old home with her. We live about 45 minutes from the wedding/reception location. The wedding is outside of the reception hall. I told her that my husband and I would not be going to the reception if our child that's suppose to be in the wedding is not invited to stay. Not only is the dress $100, but there's shoes and hair I have to contend with. Not to mention they are registered at a travel agency for their shower and wedding gifts. This is looking like an easy $200-$300 out of pocket expense for a family of six with only one income.

    Comment by TheNeverLady (original poster) at 11:54 AM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • It is traditional for the wedding party (in this case flower girl's parents) to pay for their clothing and accessories, and it can get VERY pricey. A 45 minute drive for a 17 year old girl would also be an issue for me. I think it would be very understandable for you to pass.

    Thank them for the offer, and just say you'd rather not have your daughters driving that far by themselves, or that you'd rather just come and enjoy the wedding the two of you.

    Don't know why I said cousin in the original reply, sorry. and Good Luck!

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:10 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • For those reasons, I would turn it down as well. Let her go "rent" a flower girl from a talent agency.

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 1:56 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • BUMP

    Comment by TheNeverLady (original poster) at 2:54 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

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