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4 Bumps

what do you think of parents who...?

Allow their children to hit each other? And encourage them to do so?

My friend just informed me that a friend of hers allows her 2 and 4 year old children to hit eachother. She says that she is teaching them to defend themselves by doing so.
For example. The 2 year old hits the 4 years old and she tells the 4 year old to hit the 2 year old back.

Also, her child bit my friends son, and she told my friend to have her son bite her kid back!!??

Is this a popular way of thinking???

Answer Question
 
ToriBabe1221

Asked by ToriBabe1221 at 12:55 PM on Aug. 13, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 17 (3,866 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • ummm not where I am from! that is horrible
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 12:56 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • That's a terrible practice! I hope she's saving up for their eventual jail bail out money!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:56 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • You know, it worked when I was growing up. Siblings fight. Sometimes children NEED to be hit back, within reason of course. My brother and I used to beat the crap out of each other on a daily basis. Did either one of us grow up to be violent? NO.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:57 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • oh my...
    my boys were just wrestling.
    my 5 year old is more aggressive than my 6 year old.
    i just had to tell my 6 year old to get tough and beat up the younger one. if the big one doesn't do this once in a while, then the younger one will never stop!!!!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 12:57 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • that isnt something i would encourage my child 2 do cuz that doesnt yeach them obediance or anything...if she wants her kids 2 learn self defence or something how bout karate??
    BrittBrat0113

    Answer by BrittBrat0113 at 12:58 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I do that, but only because my girls WON'T hit each other back, lol. They tattle, I say "Hit her back" and they say, "I don't want to mommy". I do this because they then say they don't want to I ask them, "So what should you have done then rather than tattle to mommy?" They then apologize to one another.

    There have been occasions where they DID hit each other back, but it didn't last but about one hit back and forth before they both got mad and wouldn't talk for a few minutes. Lol

    I DO see it as toughening them up, but they also know NOT to hit/bite/etc other kids.

    But I have to say that they have taken to NOT hitting each other back and to APOLOGIZING to one another for hitting.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 12:59 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • i believe that the punishment needs to fit the crime and one given one got but i dont believe in anyone but the parents/elder doing the parenting. kids punishing kids just sends a confusing message.
    candle5

    Answer by candle5 at 1:01 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • Oh boy. That is...not a good way of parenting. Because even if she allows them to fight with each other, they'll think it's okay to do that with other kids, as was seen with your friends child. It's one thing to allow kids to find with their own siblings, but to let them fight with other kids...I find that horribly out of line, especially since some kids have never been exposed to this kind of rough play/violence.
    kathria

    Answer by kathria at 1:01 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • Thank you happy! That is why I do it! My oldest was arrassing her sister, I did time out, told her no, etc and she kept doing it. I told her sister to hit her back and the oldest stopped! Then when my kids went to daycare my younger daughter (very small for her age) didn't get picked on and ran over because she knew that it is okay to defend yourself within reason. She has never battled it out with another kid but they did say (and YES I AM proud of her) that when another kid punched her in the face she turned around and punched him back. :) I for one, was proud!
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 1:01 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I don't encourage my children to hit without a reason. If they're being hit, then yes, I support them being able to hit back within reason. I'm not talking full out beating. However, I do think your friend's children are way too young to comprehend the message that this is intended to send. I was raised to never start a fight, but not to let myself be someone's punching bag, either.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 1:05 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

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