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step parents

my son calls his step mom mamma because she told him he has to and to call me tasha because i'm not his mom when i'm not there. Do i have right to be overly pissed off about this?

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natasha86

Asked by natasha86 at 2:34 PM on Aug. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,879 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • H*LL yeah I would be mad over this. He should only be calling you momma, since you are the one that gave birth to him. He can call her stepmomma or (her name) momma. If she dont like it she needs to get over it, shes an adult. she needs to act like it.
    bluerose26

    Answer by bluerose26 at 2:42 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • Yes, I think you do. My son calls my husband "Dad", but my husband has been there for him since he was 5 months old. I also told my ex husband that if he remarries it will not bother me if he calls her "Mom" as long as she is a true mom to him. But, my children never call us Janna and Eddie. And, I never encourage Tommy to call his father Breihan. She shouldn't be telling your daughter to call you by your first name. And, should never, under ANY circumstances, tell her that you aren't her mom. I'd be talking to the father and letting him know how I feel about it. If he refuses to do anything about it, I'd be talking to my child. Let them know that you ARE their mom and that calling you by your first name is disrespectful. My step daughter uses the phrases "Mommy-Amber" (for her real mom) and "Mommy-Janna". This helps us identify which one she is talking about when she is with either of us.
    GadgetGirl90

    Answer by GadgetGirl90 at 2:46 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • Yes.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 2:49 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • how would i approach them about it?
    natasha86

    Comment by natasha86 (original poster) at 2:54 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • yes, you need to have a meeting about this with all parties involved. If you are the mother you need to be called mother, not by your first name. I have a step daughter and she calls me either Katie or mamma katie.. and she calls her mother, mamma...
    MKSers

    Answer by MKSers at 3:07 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • And they are suppose to promote a healthy relationship between you and the father.. no bad talking.. that is contempt of court. Need to get this straightened out!
    MKSers

    Answer by MKSers at 3:08 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • First of all, if that is REALLY what is being said to your child, it's absolutely ridiculous.

    That said, how were you made aware of this? If it was via your son, I'd tread lightly. Kids really seem to want to make EVERYONE happy. He might have PERCEIVED that was the expectation without actually being told, and then didn't want to be in trouble with you so he made up a story. Not saying that's the case, but it is a possible explanation.

    If I were in your shoes, I would talk to exH and try to ferret out the truth. Go from there.
    BuddyRoo

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 3:50 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • Honestly, I wouldn't bring it up with your ex. It will either fall on deaf ears if its true or make you seem insecure if its not.

    Address it directly with your son. Whatever he and his stepmom want to call each other is between them, but tell him he is to call you mom (or momma, ma, etc.)
    LittleD96

    Answer by LittleD96 at 6:56 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I would be pissed!! I am a step-mom to two wonderful kids. The oldest does call me Mom but it is by his own choosing. His bio mom took off when he was 2 and hasn't been back since. My stepdaughter does not call me Mom and that's fine with me. She has a mom and I'm not here to take her place. If you are on good terms with your ex then try to talk to him about it with your son. If you are not then you need to talk to your son and let him know that he does not have to call his step-mom "mom" and he needs to call you mom since you are his mom.

    Juggalette0327

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 8:48 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • ok i am remarried and my kids called him Poppa C and my ex notlike that but now hes cool with it. and my ex is also married and they call her blyth and i really like her but of she said somethign like that to m kids then iwould be very mad. how do you know what she told him. did he tell you, if so then you need to explain to him why your mom and she is step mom (how old is he?) let it go once if something of this issue somes up again i would def. bring it up to the ex and her at the same time and have your man there to give you support. he will be very helpful in your defence. no matter what as long as your son understands let them do. because sooner or later he will old enough to see fr himself and can judge accordingly.. you know what i'm sayin sista

    also if she iss good to your son and she takes care of him while hes there then she is just trying to fill a spot between them to. its hard i know for experience ......
    Cajuntexan03

    Answer by Cajuntexan03 at 2:21 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

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