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What would you do?

My sister told me for one week that she would watch my kids for me so I could take my daughter back to the group home she stays at. The original plan was for the boys to spend the night on sat and I would pick them up sunday after I was finished. Well, she never answered the phone and after four hours, she had another family member call me to tell me she wasnt watching them. Today my sister calls me five times before I finally got to her call. She said she didnt have any money and could she come over to my house on tuesday and wash clothes. I dont want to be playing tit for tat, but I really dont want to be used by her either. She only calls me when she wants something from me. She even wants to use my lawnmower but she expects me to take it to her and pick it up. She doesnt want to get her car dirty.what would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Oct. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I wouldn't do it. I'm sorry, but it's not playing tit for tat...it's not allowing yourself to be used and taken advantage of! She put you in a bind by not keeping the boys for you to do something you needed to do. I'd let her use the lawnmower, but she would have to pick it up and bring it back.
    KennsWifey

    Answer by KennsWifey at 10:31 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I would be up front with her and tell her that for one... if she didnt want to watch your kids she needed to tell you . there is no need for her to be a baby about that. She is a grown woman. As for washing her clothes... i would tell her no. she couldnt help you why should you be expected to help her. as for the lawn mower thing... if she needs it. she needs to pick it up. You dont need to be wasting your money to take it to and from her house so she can use it. I know this is a lot easier said than done... but i wouldnt allow her to take advantage of you..
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 10:34 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • set my boundaries and not let her walk all over you. look your in a relationship and there are trade off's even with sisters and if she can't help you out then you can't help her out either. i would just be frank and say look i don't mind helping you out but you don't help me then i don't feel like it so i'm not going too cause all your doing is using me. just be honest. she is responsible to take the time to change or put the effort into all this.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:41 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I might let her use my washer but I wouldn't be dragging my mower to her place and back. And if this keeps up then I just would get one of those phones that tells you who is calling and just don't answer her calls. Eventually, she will move on to another relative with a washer and a lawn mower.
    L.A.F.outloud

    Answer by L.A.F.outloud at 10:55 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I agree w/ the other moms who answered this ? in the sense that I'd tell her no 2 both bc it sounds like a very 1 sided relationship. And like melody77 stated, set ur boundaries & stick 2 them bc she's a grown woman who needs 2 step up & handle her own business.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 11:15 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Sisters are supposed to scratch each others backs. You are supposed to be helping each other in your times of need, but it seems that your sister is only helping herself. I would not let her use my washer a while just to make a point. As far as the lawn mower is concerned, she would come get it, bring it back and put gas in it, or she wouldn't use it! You have to put your foot down and not let her or anyone else take your kindness for weakness. You have to have the "SISTERLY" talk with her so that she knows how you feel. If it's too hard then enlist the help of your mom of someone else that could probably be a mediator or something. Good Luck
    OMETAB.

    Answer by OMETAB. at 3:15 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

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