Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why does this hurt my feelings?

While I was pregnant DH's Dad and Step-Mom were always calling and asking about the baby. When I had him they came here to see him (they're from Florida We're from California). They would ask for pictures, they would comment on all my Facebook pictures of the baby(that were put up specifically for them to be able to see him). My DH 15 year old brother knocked up his 13 year old girlfriend. She just had the baby in June and since then, I have not heard one word from them. They don't ask about my son. They don't comment his pictures or ask for pictures anymore. They don't call to check up on us. Now that they have the other baby they don't even care AT ALL. It kinda hurts my feelings. I feel like it shouldn't like those people dont matter. Get over it! But it still bothers me... Why?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Aug. 13, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (11)
  • It bothers you because you feel as if your son has been upstaged. Basically they are ignoring you all. It happens unfortunately,. My Mom was like thiat sometimes. The kids who lived close got alll her attention. We were stationed far away a lot of times and it was as if we didn't exist.. I don't think it is intentional...I think it's more out of sight out of mind.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:50 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • It hurts your feelings because you're human. Go ahead and send them some pictures anyway, with a nice long note about how you haven't heard from them in a while and hope everything is well with them. I have distant relatives who apparently pour over every picture I send them (because they bug other relatives if I haven't sent in a while) but never say anything directly to me.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 5:50 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • its probably not intentional..but is the brother living with them still? if so, they are probably hands-on, literally and necessarily so. a second baby, that close in age, will take the spotlight..but usually it equalizes. don't take it personally..have empathy for them, instead. they probably weren't planning on helping raise a baby. (if that is the case)

    Answer by dullscissors at 5:53 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • It bothers you because you feel like they are devoating all there attention to the new baby, and 'm sure u probably feel like they are giving this baby and its parents alot of attnetion and its kinda like rewarding bad behavior. Your obviosuly bothered by the ages (as anyone would be) if you made it a point to mention it.

    Answer by JnCV at 5:53 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • did i read this correct
    15 yr old and 13 yr old

    i think they have their hands full
    get over it

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I'm Srry they are treating you this way- i think that would Hurt anyone's Feelings!

    Answer by daisyb at 5:55 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • of course it does! but you don't know whats going on down there, the kids are under age and both sets of parents are fighting. its really hard to be out of state. we are opposite, soon as we moved closer thats when they stopped wanting stuff of the girls. if you afford it, try to take a trip out there to make sure they are ok. plus not panicking has a good too.

    Answer by noel1978 at 5:55 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I think I would feel the same way. Your baby is still their grandchild no matter what and a grandparent shouldn't stop being interested in one child and family over the other. There should be plenty of understanding and caring for everyone. I would continue to show pictures to make them see that they are missing out on one really super baby who really misses his grandma or grandpa.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 6:05 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I'm going to guess that it bothers you because you feel like they DON'T care. They went from showing their concern to showing no concern. That's hard to deal with. PLUS, they are family so in my opinion that can make it harder to "swallow" (regardless of how well you may or may not know them).

    Answer by firenicecream at 6:24 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

  • I am sure MIL now has her hands full with everything that is going on.. Maybe you could call her & ask how everything is going, see how SHE is doing throught all this :) Maybe she is ashamed. embarrassed or even jealous that your child has the stableness & this new grandchild she is scared for its future..
    Also the closest grandkids do get all the benefits.. My mom sends money & stuff to her grandkids & tried.. But they are 1200 miles away.. So naturally my nephew & my daughter who both live in the same city as my mom get alot more time & presents from her in general

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 6:35 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.