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What should I do?!?!?!?Help!

okay to give a clear picture, my mom was bringing home my twin boys from the weekend at her house and said she needed to talk to me. She came in an sat down (with my children present), and asked me if I knew the difference between torture and discipline! I said of course, she says "no you don't, I know what you have been doing to the boys, they told me you have been burning their hands with hot water". I looked at her and told her to get out of my house, and things really escaleted from there, but anyways the point of this questions is my twins are only 3 years and 9 months, I would never hurt my children in any kind of way period, let alone a sick thing like what I was accussed of.

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alexandjoshuah

Asked by alexandjoshuah at 10:59 PM on Oct. 6, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • My 3 year old lied to her, and in front of her told her that I didn't do it. Then my mother says he's scared and in denial! What do I do about my 3 year old???? He is making up horrible stories that almost ripped up our whole family today! I know he doesn't understand to question him as to why he would say such a thing, but what if he says something like that at his preschool! Has anyone else experianced such behavior. Please share all stories and helpful hints. Thanks so much!
    alexandjoshuah

    Answer by alexandjoshuah at 10:59 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • My nieces do stuff like that. {one of them is extremely violent}. My daughter use to go around saying "help me, my mommy hurts me!" because i would spank her. She grew out of it but if it continues you might want to let him talk to an unbiased adult.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 11:21 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • you are right 3 yr olds dont understand questions that are really being ask unless they are simple. If you arent doing anything to your children then you have nothing to worry about. Your mom can report all she wants. If she calls CPS they have to do a full investigation on you and whoever is living with you. If you are burning them there would be marks on them right? If there arent any marks or anything they have no proof. But again if you arent hurting your children then you have nothing to worry about.
    Goingthruitall

    Answer by Goingthruitall at 11:47 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Your reaction probably convinced her. Why did you lose it so quickly? I would have asked a few more questions. She obviously cares about your kids to have enough guts to confront or ask you. If it wasn't true, I would think your reaction would have been one of surprise not anger. Especially if you had any understanding of the child's mind.  BUT this all depends on your relationship with your mom. I would know my own mom would not do that unless she was convinced it had some merit.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I WOULD HAVE BEEN OUTRAGED BY THE ACCUSATION. I AM REALLY SORRY THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS. HE IS AT THAT AGE WHERE CHILDREN ARE LEARNING TO USE THEIR IMMAGINATION AND SOMETIMES THAT CAN BE A BAD THING. HE IS OLD ENOUGH TO SIT HIM DOWN AND SAY "HONEY, MOMMY NEEDS TO KNOW IF YOU TOLD GRANDMA....." IF HE SAYS NO TELL HIM THAT ITS OK AND THAT YOU WONT BE MAD. IF YOU CAN GET HIM TO SAY YES, THEN SAY "HONEY DO YOU REMEMBER WHY YOU TOLD HER THAT?" SIMPLE WORDS OBVIOUSLY. BUT HE IS NOT TO YOUNG TO ASK THESE QUESTIONS. JUST WORD THEM THE RIGHT WAY, AND DO IT IN A LOVING SETTING. I WOULD TELL YOUR MOM THAT YOU ARE SORRY YOU EXPLOIDED BUT THAT IT AFFENDED YOU AND HURT YOU THAT SHE WOULD THINK YOU WOULD DO SUCH A THING. BY THE WAY I HAD MY OWN 3 YR OLD CLASSROOM, IN A DAYCARE AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE ON THIS. IT IS VERY COMMON, BUT UNFORTUNETLY ITS HARD TO TELL WHEN THEY ARE TELLING THE TRUTH VERSES LYING SINCE THEY ARE SO INNOCENT.
    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 2:09 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • OH AND BY THE WAY I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK!
    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 2:10 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I agree with Anonymous. Just from reading your post your actions might not of been the correct ones. Of course it's a reason to be upset but if it were me, I would of been like "huh? What are you talking about?" I wouldn't of gottin so defensive.
    There's not a doubt in my mind if one of my kids would of said that to my mom, she would of done the same thing as your mom. Hell, she may not of even given me time to answer her. To me sounds like your mom was concerned for her grand children which is understandable. Instead of blowing up at your mom for being concerned maybe you 2 should of talked wih the kids together. Doesn't your mom understand kids (even at 3) make things up?

    BTW- alicia, can you turn off your CAPS- it's hard to read and that is considered hollering on the internet.
    BrendaMomOf3

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 3:13 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • If my mother accused me of something like that I would have done the exact same thing. How can you say you'd be calm about something like that? I'd be pissed that my mother could even think I'd do such a thing.
    jms124

    Answer by jms124 at 9:37 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • shoot for the kids if the water was warm and they wanted it cold that could be " burning them" all kids do something like that at sometime or another. if he says it at preschool they would look at his hands see they aren't burned and prob ignore it. legally they should call it in but most often they don't if they did call it in and cps came they too would look at the hands maybe check the water temp in the house and let it go. just to be certain I would check the temp of your hot water. set the heater to 114 degrees there is no way to burn someone with water set at that temp. in fact that is the water temp cps requires foster parent water to be set at.
    Lyndall

    Answer by Lyndall at 9:39 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I am sorry aboout the caps everyone!
    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 1:25 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

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