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3 Bumps

how can I kick her out nicely?

So I let my friend live with my husband and myself b/c she was having hard times. but since she has been here she has talked negative about my husband to me, came home drunk, and wont clean up after herself. Its really starting to bug me, she's 20 years old and is mooching off of us. She works at a bar but only makes 150$ plus maybe(if lucky,50$ in tips a week) so she can't support herself. I have tired talking to her about her ways but she ignores me. today was the last straw when she yelled at my daughter when she was crying b/c my friend was trying to sleep. its putting a strain in my marriage. how can I tell her nicely without loosing her friendship ??

Answer Question
 
Lovin_mybaby5

Asked by Lovin_mybaby5 at 12:00 AM on Aug. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,452 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • i guess there really isn't no easy and nice way because i am sure she is going to take offense to it no matter what. but, i think that your marriage is more important, your family is more important. if she can not understand that and gets mad because you feel strained, then she isn't really a good friend. good luck.
    xtwilightx

    Answer by xtwilightx at 12:03 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • thank you and yea your right. I just have known her for many years and she has never seemed to "grow up" I feel I have always been a mom figure to her and it will make me sad to loose her friendship but I'm starting not to care
    Lovin_mybaby5

    Comment by Lovin_mybaby5 (original poster) at 12:05 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Screw her. No one would dare yell at my kid.

    She's not being nice. And you aren't being nice to yourself or your family. Tell her straight forward. Don't say "I'm sorry but..." because you are not sorry. She should be sorry. She is invading your family.

    Say, "friend, you have to leave. I cant support you financially any more. My family needs me and my full attention. Your presence here is taking that from them. My family comes first. Please leave tomorrow."

    Done. Do not discuss it. This is not up for discussion or debate. Stick to your guns.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 12:06 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • i like the way you are pp...lol Love your personality lol
    Lovin_mybaby5

    Comment by Lovin_mybaby5 (original poster) at 12:08 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I agree, she's not worrying about your feelings....in YOUR OWN HOME....why should you be worried about hers. You could tell her that she needs to move out in order to save your friendship, but the truth is the friendship may already be ruined. I think be direct and honest. It's your home, take it back.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:15 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Your niceness should of went right out the door and the bitch in you should of came out. Yelling at your child would of been the last straw. So she can sleep I would of cussed her out then kicked her out.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 1:10 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • good luck with this
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 7:03 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • There is no nice way she is taking u for granted and it has to stop u can t be nher curcth
    butterflysmom

    Answer by butterflysmom at 9:56 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I went through the same thing a year ago with one of my friends - except it was her and her two DDs. She was here a week... and then I packed her and her kids up and took them to her mom's house. What was the kicker, a few days after she left, I was saying how my kids were asking about hers and they missed the girls... and she had the nerve to say "That's cute and all now that they are young, but just so you know, when the girls are older, I wont let them hang out with boys like yours." Implying that your little brats are "too good" for my boys and my family INFURIATED me. Haven't spoken to her since.
    MunchiesMom324

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 11:15 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • And I say this because of experience...NEVER have a friend move in with you.because it never works out and you lose a friendship.Give her a 30 day notice.And stick to it.She must have other friends.Or,after 30 days,let her couch surf.Maybe she has burned all her bridges.
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 1:03 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

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