Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps


so my bf he is going to marry me someday, but he doesn't know when. he finally told me when we can afford my dream wedding. I told him i didn't need an extravagant wedding. how do i get him to understand i don't need a 20,000 dollar weddin?

Answer Question

Asked by natasha86 at 3:24 AM on Aug. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,879 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • – collapse
    first off learn to spell, then maybe he will marry you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 AM on Aug. 14, 2010 (hidden) + expand

  • You tell him that your dream wedding consists of you, him, a minister (or Priest, or Justice of the Peace, or whoever), and your close friends and family. You don't need an expensive dress, monstrous cake, lavish flowers or huge flashy engagement ring.

    My dh and I got married 18 yrs ago. It was VERY low key, small, and inexpensive. We spent less than $1000 on the wedding - and that included the dress, food, etc. Yes, it was a long time ago, it could still be done. My sister just got married about 5 yrs ago, they went to the Justice of the Peace, and all it cost them was a marriage license and lunch afterward :-).

    We're both very happily married. We know people who have had huge, lavish weddings that they were still paying for when they started the divorce proceedings.

    The point is, it looks like you understand that a marriage isn't about the party at the wedding. It's about love and commitment.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:34 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • cont

    You just need to tell him this. If he still doesn't believe it, then fine. Save the money that you know you need for the kind of wedding you want - cheap ;-) When you have that thousand dollars or whatever, you tell him that you have the money, and would like to get married now.

    But honestly, and I don't mean this to be a downer, but if he's still not willing to commit, even after you tell him this (but only say it if you mean it, and are willing to not take out loans for the wedding - which it sounds like he doesn't want to do...) - if he still doesn't want to set a date, then he's using that as an excuse to delay.

    Good luck :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:37 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • i never saw the point of stressing yourself out on how much food is or finding the right wedding planner. when you should be enjoying your life.

    Comment by natasha86 (original poster) at 3:38 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I agree with sailorsmom

    Answer by mamaofficer at 3:39 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • good luck, my hubby still wants to give me one, i told him i was fine as long as hes my groom

    Answer by frankye at 3:57 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • My brother tells my future sis-in-law this and, in his case, I think it is an excuse because he doesn't feel ready for that commitment. They have been together six years and he knows she wants to get married and she says she doesn't care about extravagance, but he says he wants to give her a dream wedding. But other times, he just seems uncomfortable with the topic of weddings or kids, and I think he is just afraid.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 4:47 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I think this is not about saving for a dream wedding, but him getting married at all. I don't know how old each of you are, how long you have been in a relationship or if you already have children. I always thought it was romantic to get married in the home you both purchased with the high rolling dollars for a wedding, instead. You can save for a home, then get married there. How wonderful it would be to know you got married in a place you both saved for and can enjoy for many years to come. A flashy wedding is just money out the window, imho. Good luck.


    Answer by Joeygoat at 6:39 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Ask him to elope! just a thought not advice :)


    Answer by lilaclacey at 6:51 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • good luck

    Answer by san78 at 6:59 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.