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How do I help my baby feel safer so she isn't so clingy?

My daughter is ten months old and has hit a stage were she gets really upset if I won't pick her up or I leave the room past the child gate. My first child was a bit clingy but not picking him up all the time was enough to get him over that stage, but that is just not working for my daughter. It feels like she spends half the day on my feet crying :( Help!

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Asked by lilaclacey at 5:16 AM on Aug. 14, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 5 (68 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I would try singing to her. She can hear your voice and if she has some type of toy to keep her hands active she will learn to play on her own. When my children were toddlers the house I had was an open plan style, and so where ever I was in the house, I could still see into other rooms. I found singing and talking to your child reassures them that you are nearby. All babies go through a clingy phase that they only want Momma or Daddy to hold them 24/7, but it does not last for long. They are just trying to figure out how far away they can be from you but still know you are near. It is a step in the development of independent play. Good luck.


    Answer by Joeygoat at 5:26 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • This is normal, and a healthy sign of how well bonded the two of you are. Use a sling, baby-backpack, or other carrier; this is also a great opportunity to help your child develop language skills. Talk to her about what you are doing, and why; and about anything else that you are thinking about.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:05 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • It's normal. Pick her up and wear her. This stage is hardwired in the for a reason. 'It won't last forever. Babies need holding as much as they need air. The more secure the feel the more confident the will be when exploring idependance.

    Answer by amileegirl at 6:56 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Your baby has just got to the point where she recognizes that you are a specific individual person, important to her survival. When she can't sense you (see, hear, feel your presence) you cease to exist and she knows instinctively that she's in terrible danger.

    You can traumatize her out of believing you'll be there for her, but you can't make it unimportant to her.

    Amileegirl is right: babies need moms, and independence grows out of security, not abandonment.

    Answer by LindaClement at 10:22 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Keep holding her :) It lets her know you are there when she needs you, and that she can always count on you to be there :) You cant spoil her. I have always held my son when he wanted and hes mister independant. Rarely wants to be held and doesnt cry unless he needs something! He hasnt hit that clingy stage yet (hes 13months). If he does thats ok, and if he doesnt thats ok as well :)

    Answer by carsonsmommytam at 12:40 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Hold her more! Bring her with you wherever you go. Before you know it she will be running away with you chasing after her! I totally agree that "independence grows out of security, not abandonment"

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 2:43 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

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