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Can someone please tell my WHY some men just have to look at porn?I am so Heart broken. adult content

I am so heartbroken and I feel so betrayed right now. With my dh and I, our sex life has not been good for like the past 6 months.It has seriously dwindled down to maybe once a month, if that.I am pregnant and far along.But He just doesnt seem interested in me anymore.I try to come on to him and he rejects me.I'm not totally against porn, I dont harp on him about it, but he's never shown a problem with it.We got into an arguement last night and he slept on the couch, leaving his wallet and cell in our room.I admit, I got nosey.This is the first time,and we've been together for 4 years.I've never felt the need to snoop b4.But I feel something is up.I found a ph# he calls frequently, only during work hours with no name and long periods of talk time.I also found a hand written list of porn sites&porn names and 5 porn cards with ph#s and pics.What do I do?Do I say something?Do I keep quiet?I've never been thru this b4.Help me :(


Asked by Anonymous at 7:11 AM on Aug. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Talk to him about it or it's going to eat you away into depression. My SO did the same thing during our first year. We got into a huge argument and I flat out let him know that if he needed porn then he didn't need me. There was no way that I was going to deal with it. With the phone #'s I would be worried that he's having an affair, though it could just be phone sex. It all depends on how you feel about it, talk to him and let him know how you feel and ask him what's going on. If he gets offended then you need to choose to stay and deal with it or tell him to take a hike and don't look back.

    No one ever wants to have to deal with this kind of thing, but stand up for yourself and do what you feel is right.

    Best Of Wishes!

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 7:33 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • this is a delicate one .. im not sure how id handle it to be honest, but then again, id ask him abt it but thats just me ..

    Answer by san78 at 7:18 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • You really need to just talk to him. Talk about the sex life and how it's decreased. Ask him why. See what he says. Tell him what you want. You may have to admit that you snooped. There is not much else you can do. Porn is addictive. It seems innoscent enough but it creeps up on a person and becomes a powerful draw.

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:47 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • i would call the number first to get an idea of who he is talking too..maybe its some sex line..I wouldve kept the list and when it did come time to talk to him ask him if this was the reason he is turning me away.

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:53 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • heres a bump and i hope u feel better soon

    Answer by san78 at 7:18 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Sounds like he is addicted. I would make an offer to assist him in finding help. If he refuses, I would ask him to leave. I could never share my husband with another woman, real, imagined, or pictured. That is mental adultery and it is a marriage vow breaker.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:29 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Because women think it's ok to let their men do that then they can pleasre themselves and not bother their wives so then they would rather do that then be with their wife. I'd be calling the #'s I look at our cell bill well it's in my name so I would know if my dh was calling any #'s but that is besides the point. See what the #'s are about and then confornt him it's the only way you can get this resolved. I'm sorry men can be jerks.

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 9:31 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I myself would probably ask my S/O if he's doing it, he shouldn't be so ashamed abt it. As far as not having sex, my husband on my 2nd & 3rd pregnancy hardly looked at me when I was near the end of my pregnancies. I was so hurt like you, and after they were born, he said he just wasn't use to me fat, didn't look it as a baby. Also he was afraid of sex bec it would hurt the baby even though I sd it wouldn't. Men are men and think the way they do, hopefully after the baby is born things will go back to normal. But the porn, it shd come out in the open, and hopefully it' hasn't become a future problem. Ask him to put himself in your shoes, how would he feel?

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 10:19 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Talk to him about it.You say your'e not totally against porn? Offer to watch it with him.Also, your hormones are raging.Remember that.Things should get better once the baby is born.If they don't, go see a therapist.Good luck sweetheart!

    Answer by bvannkissy at 11:40 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • sorry you are going through this. Check out this group, the women there are very helpful!

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 2:00 PM on Aug. 14, 2010