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Please, I need some advice....

I am a working mother of 2 (they are 1 and 2 years old) I generally work 8 to 8 1/2 hours almost every day. My husband stays home with the children all day and plays his video games. I walk thru the door and immediately have to start taking care of my children. I spend the afternoon cleaning, doing laundry, and spending time with my kids while my husband stays on the computer. The only thing he does besides watching the children while I am at work(and he dosent even do that all that well since he is constantly on the computer) is cook dinner and he even complains about that. I think he is being ungrateful of all the things that I do for him and the children but maybe I missed something somewhere. I am getting ready to start full time schooling in a few days along with my full time work and dont know how its going to work...I need help but when I tell him this its always about how hard his day was...some advice please!!!!!!

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mylady13135

Asked by mylady13135 at 1:06 PM on Aug. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (352 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • If it was me in your situation I would just flat out tell him that he helped make the kids therefore he should be able to help. And if he throws a fit about it, then hes really immature and not able to man up to his responsibilities of a parent.
    xxmarissaxx89

    Answer by xxmarissaxx89 at 1:08 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Have you tried doing what men do just walk in the door and sit down. It's not fair if he is home all day and doing nothing. Wouldn't our men complain if we did that and not had anything done yes they would. I wouldn't move if I were you but sometimes I can be pretty stuboorn Good Luck!
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 1:08 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • staying at home with kids is full time job in itself. just be honest with him, and non-confrontational, explain to him that you work all day and it would be nice if he could do a little more around the house to help you out.
    kyuteangl88

    Answer by kyuteangl88 at 1:10 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • You need to sit him down, and talk about what you expect, and what he expects. You both need down time, as well as to be told (and shown) how much you appreciate the contribution you each are making to the household. When you start school, things are going to get that much harder, you need to tell him what you need with regard to support. Remember, he's going to need support as well.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 1:10 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • DONT TAKE NO SHIT FROM HIM AND U GO TO SCHOOL AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS , PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN TO HIM AND TELL HIS ASS TO SHUT THE HELL UP AND START HELPING OUT MORE INSTEAD OF BITCHING ABOUT SHIT , GIRL YOU CAN DO IT AND HIF HE DONT LIKE IT TELL HIM THERE THE DAM STREET HIT IT AND KEEP TALKING ! YOU GO GIRL YOU CAN DO IT GET MAD AND GROW SOME BALLS AND STAND UP TO HIM ! LOOK LUCK SWEETY !
    lightbulbe

    Answer by lightbulbe at 1:13 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Come in the house and go take a shower or a bath. Then go lay down. Sometimes we just have to take up for our selves. I am a stay at home mom so I know how busy the day can be. Is the house in a total wreck when you get home or can you tell that he has moved some during the day?
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 1:22 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • If you guys have never discussed what needs to get done and he's never done any of it correctly, don't expect him to just know what to do or how to do it. Make a list of what work needs to get done and divide out the labor. Then, help him by explaining anything he clearly doesn't get how to do and do that NICELY. At first, ask him if he's had any issues with the work/child care, and offer help if he wants it and simple encouragement if he dorsn't need help. We transitioned from me as SAHM to him as SAHD a year ago and we had a bumpy start, but he eventually got to where doing a decent job as a SAHD was a matter of pride for him, and now he simply rocks at it.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 1:25 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Once in a while I ask him if he could do something like clean the kitchen while I am gone, when I come home its just worse than when I left. When I ask him what happened he said it was simply "too hard" to do with the kids under his feet....I explain to him I know that it is hard ( I do it on my days off while watching the kids AND still cleaning) but it is not impossible. I never expect the entire house to be cleaned but it would be nice if he could do one, maybe two things around it while I am gone. I do understand that watching kids (especially so young) is a full time job and Ive told him that I know this. He goes out a minimum of 2 times a week without the kids and the only time I ever go out without the kids is when I go to work or a doctor appointment which I hardly consider "me" time
    mylady13135

    Comment by mylady13135 (original poster) at 1:35 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Do what you have to do and sit him down and say the time for complaining is over and he should man up or bitch out. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:35 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • As a SAHM, I am expected to do everyhting but bring home a pay check. I do everything that a women physically can without him. He only does really hearvy, high, or gross things. That is very few and far between. As a non working MAN he should be able to do everything. He should research what SAHM's do while he is on the computer.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 3:26 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

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