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5 Bumps

Posted on FB, Pagan Opinions wanted... (however all welcomed)

This was posted to one of the pages I follow... This is NOT something I am dealing with, but I see how it could be in the future. I read through the responses from those on FB, but I'm wondering what you all would say...

"I need some advise. My 10yr old enjoys going to the baptist church in town with her school friends. I dont mind except now she comes home challenging all we in my family believe. We are Wiccan. Now she argues and gets mad. What should I do? How should I handle this? She cries and tells me she wishes we were normal and tells me were going to hell. No matter how much I try and tell her our beliefs she wont truly listen. "

Answer Question

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 1:17 PM on Aug. 14, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (15)

    Answer by lightbulbe at 1:20 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • We chose to be preemptive on this. We attend a Unitarian universalist church. The children go through a religious exploration ciriculum where they learn that people believe different things and that every deserves respect, never condemnation. We have a religious exploration teacher go with them to attend churches and temples of various faiths so they can see the services in action. Then, we have a coming of age ceremony where teens can make a faith statement to the congregation. Some choose to be Christians, some wiccans,some atheists, etc.

    When children grow up around other children who are encouraged to ask questions and then are rewarded for open thinking, they don't become hard line. They don't condemn other faiths.

    Once your child has been frightened by evangelism, it's a battle against fear mongering.

    Answer by ecodani at 1:25 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • At 10 I would set my child down and explain why I believe what I believe and not the sugar coated reasons. I would pul out a bible and let them see what they are following. If they want to continue to follow it fine but they will have respect and understanding for why I don't.
    I am not talking about the nice loving stories or the watered down stories of the bible. I would show them the stories that they do not use to convert people.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 1:25 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I would simply state that everyone has a right to believe as they do and if others are pressuring her to change her ways or her family's ways then they arent living by the principles of their beliefs very well.

    I would also state that if she cant respect our beliefs(that she grew up around) then she wont be allowed to attend Baptist services anymore. She is MY child and she will respect the beliefs in our home as we respect her right to attend the Baptist church, etc.

    Respect is earned when respect is given.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 1:29 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I wouldn't outright forbid her to explore another religion (then again, at 10, she wouldn't have had permission so young in my house to begin with), but I would ask careful questions that would force her to examine the contradictions in terms a 10 year old can understand - that's the worst part of indoctrinating kids. Their brains aren't developed enough to recognize and understand it all so they learn it by rote and their trusting nature assumes the nice adults with big smiles don't have any kind of hidden agenda. In this case I would rattle off the names of all the relatives and friends she knows and loves who are any religion besides Baptist and ask her to name exactly how and why each of them are evil. Overwhelm her with more and more names - move up to celebrities, presidents, war heroes, until she realizes the world is too big for anyone to judge so narrowly.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 3:02 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I think she wants to fit in with the majority. She is 10 and fitting in is so much more important than being yourself. Her friends have probably told her that you are all going to hell and she didn't have a good response, so to fit in, she agreed (my guess only!). It sucks a lot, but if you allow her to continue going, this won't end. It will get worse.

    Answer by silversmom at 4:57 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • If you live some what close to a universal uniterian church I would take her there. She is probably trying to fit in but 10 is very young to be challenging the beliefs of others. We all know how adults get caught up in evangelism, imagine what that does to a very impressionable 10 year old. What that church is trying to do is be a wedge between the child and her home. I would protect my child from being brainwashed first and foremost

    Answer by pnwmom at 5:04 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • And silversmom is correct, it will not get better if she continues to be around people like that. It will get worse.

    Answer by pnwmom at 5:05 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • IMO at 10 the child is too young to be claiming to believe in any one religion. I urge my DD to learn about religion, but to wait to say she actually believes it. Children are so easily influenced and its almost a form of brainwashing. I'd rather she waits till she is a teen or young adult to decide.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 5:30 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • You may think I'm joking, but unbrainwash her. That is why young children + church can be a big issue. I also thing that is why the young are targeted be the churches. I think she needs to be kept from people with that mindset and not allowed back at that church until she can show a little more understanding and maturity.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 12:16 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

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