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2 Bumps

how to stay sane while planning on leaving

he agreed to counsiling
therapist even said out loud to us
why are you together
he is mean, i think to make me leave
i am trying to find a job, so i can support myself and my daughter
i have no money and no family or friend to go to
if i go to a shelter, i am afraid that this will be bad in court if he trys for custody

how can i stay sane, while i am here with him being emotional abusive and verbally abusive, while i get a job (fingers crossed) and get the hell out

i have tried to talk to him
example, tried to give him a kiss last night, he denied me, then i tried to talk to him when kids were asleep, he said to me "why are you bothering me"
i slept on couch, cried until i fell asleep
called him today, he is working, he did not say more than a grunt and hung up after i talked about my morning, i called back, he said he thought i hung up, i told him that i do not hang up on him
i am so sick of tryingto

 
fiatpax

Asked by fiatpax at 1:18 PM on Aug. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I stayed long enough to get a job, and a rental townhouse - luckily, the timing coincided on these things. We had recently received our tax refund and I told him I wanted half. I was kind of surprised he gave it to me, but I'm pretty sure he had thought I would never leave. He didn't want me to leave, but he was verbally abusive and controlling - our marriage therapist had suggested I leave. I have primary custody of our kids - the Judge apparently didn't care who left who. Just keep in mind that you are doing what's best for the kids; that's how I kept my sanity for so long!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 4:07 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I had to just leave my husband... I couldn't deal with the abuse anymore. I did have family. Have you considered going to ur local health & human services office? They mite b able to help u out. And possibly give u temporary housing. And if they give u cash aid they'll give u counsling & help finding a job... I am SO SORRY ur going thorugh this HUGS
    LovinKayla

    Answer by LovinKayla at 2:21 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I have been throught this. He was abusive in every way. I have family...but my family is where my emotinal abuse started and I didn't think I had anywhere to go...but I'm dealing with the lesser of two evils..I hope that you find a job and get the hell out of there. Iwas to the point where I was stuck out in a neighborhood where the neighbors turned the other way and i had no transportation..i called a crisis line..and things went from there.
    Whateve way there is for you to get out, you will find it. Good luck to you. i wish you and your kids the best.
    oogiesmommy

    Answer by oogiesmommy at 2:27 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • If he's admitted to things in counceling..i believe during a court case for custody..the court can order that...you shouldn't have a problem obtaining custody in my opinion.
    oogiesmommy

    Answer by oogiesmommy at 2:29 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

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