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He wakes our daughter up on purpose every night...cause I am a SAHM

He has denied it for awhile now, but I've caught him doing it several times. When I confronted him, he says that since I am a stay at home mom that I need to put in more hours than him. He said that I get to sleep an extra hour each day and I get 2 hours off each afternoon while she naps. He thinks it's funny. Taking care of our daughter and our house (plus his two grown sons), according to him, should only tabulate to be 2 hours of work time. I really just want to suffocate him with a pillow!

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Oct. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • I am so sorry. My fiance is kinda the same way but he doesn't wake our kids up. He always tells me that he would trade places with me in a heartbeat. Which I know he could never handle doing what i do everyday.

    Answer by passioncyndi at 1:02 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Oh wow. My husband doesn't go that far (I'd suffocate him too..) but he doesn't seem to understand how much work really goes into being a SAHM either. I'll be going back to work soon and so on his days off he gets to be a SAHD for the first time and even if it will only be twice a week I can't WAIT. I don't really have any good advice though, sorry :-( Maybe next time he does it, bring your daughter into your bed and let her cry a little until he gets so annoyed that he wants to put her back to sleep lol. I've done it on occassion and it works although it can also start an argument lol. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • well sounds to me what u need to do is switch places with him, have him stay home on a day off and give him the chore list and take a day off, tell him if he gets a day off then u get one too!! he will soon realize all u do, and make sure u wake up the baby for him too the night b4..... maybe it will knowck some scense into him!!  sounds to me that he has no idea what all u do during the day! hope u work things out hun!


    Answer by katamike at 1:09 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • He needs professional help! What man can claim to love and respect his wife, then wake up his sleeping child to make sure she "puts in enough hours"?!?
    The other ladies had some good suggestions... but if they don't work, then you two should get some couples councelling. I wish I could talk to your husband right now... I'm so MAD! I feel for you though...

    Answer by brandyj at 1:15 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Some men don't realize that when they are off of work, that's it. Day done. While us SAHM's job start from the time your child wakes until they go to sleep. Sometimes longer than that. Need an extra pillow?? lol

    Answer by resamerie at 1:18 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Time for you to move into the baby's room.

    Or maybe since HE is being a baby...put HIM in the crib and take the baby into bed with you.

    Either way, this guy wouldn't be getting any for a long time in this house. In fact, he might lose the ability to get any. Grrrr.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:24 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • What an idiot. Research proves that SAHMs work the equivalent of TWO full-time jobs. It is VERY disturbing to me that he intentionally wakes his own sleeping child to spite you. What kind of sick person does that?! He does not care about her welfare at all if he does anything that he knows could wake her. He is robbing her of the sleep she NEEDS to be healthy and happy. He must really have some deep-seeded resentment toward you to be doing this, but even so he shouldn't be harming his child because of it. He needs counseling without a doubt. I want to cry for your poor little girl, and you should too. What will he do to her next? If he truly does this on purpose, he is a BAD FATHER and I don't mind saying it. Why would you keep her at the mercy of a sadistic person like that?

    Answer by indexmom at 1:29 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Thats really sick. Who wakes a sleeping baby to use him/her as a toy in your mental game with your wife? I agree with the person who said its time for you to move into babies room.

    Answer by CassandraLeeMN at 1:30 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I just wanted to add....
    Does he have any idea what he would have to pay someone to do all that you do? You do cooking, laundry, showers & tubs, floors, windows,general organization, AND childcare(which includes wiping poop several times a day. I bet he wouldn't do THAT). That would amount to at least $2000 a month! He needs to get his f***ing head on straight!

    Answer by brandyj at 1:46 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I would just not let him get any sleep and see how he feels,every time he falls asleep slap him in the face or be loud and obnoxious and wake him up and when he complains just say, "now you know how our daughter feels asshole!!" He sounds like a sick twisted fu*k who needs whapped upside the head. He goes to work and then comes home and gets to relax while us sahm's don't get to relax our job is 27/7 365 days a year and I would love to see assholes like him try and do our job. I am sorry that you have to be submitted to such cruelty.

    Answer by Peekalou at 1:50 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

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