Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

My son is finally grieving about his brother!!!

His big brother was killed in January.He cried but he hadn't really started grieving until this past week.I'm so happy but He's doing it privately.I hear him crying and talking to Josh.I went to him once & he stopped and told me he was O.K.I gave him a hug and told him that I'm here for him.What else can I do?


Asked by bvannkissy at 2:41 PM on Aug. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,409 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • He may need alone time to cry and shout. You've told him he can talk to you about it, so he knows this. I'd let him wail and sob and whatever he needs to do, without interrupting him. After he does this, I'd ask gently and briefly if he was OK, and let it drop if he doesn't seem to want to talk. After a week, maybe, I'd ask him again how he is doing. And I'd say would you like to talk with (your religious adviser, a counselor)- say that doing this might help him. If you notice his school work or attitude declining, signs of depression such as eating disorder, becoming reclusive, and so forth, then it is time to talk to his doctor and consider taking him to a counselor.

    Answer by Bmat at 2:53 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Take him to counseling. I don't know how old he is, but kids are tender and need help grieving. Kids tend to internalize death and blame themselves.
    Sorry for you loss ♥

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:44 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Depending on his age, like if he still is at home with you. Take him to counseling. But everyone grieves differently, so just be an ear when he need one.

    Answer by browningmom at 2:49 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I'm sorry for your lose. Be there for him when ever he needs you.

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 2:44 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I meant loss not lose.

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 2:44 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I'm so sorry for your family. He needs someone other than you to talk to. You are going through your own grief. If he doesn't have someone then counseling may be a good idea. You say his brother was killed, a unexpected death. Most kids never thinks their brother could die.


    Answer by Gailll at 2:50 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • U can tell him u would like to talk about the big brother. U start the coversation and he will open up to u. message me let me know how it goes. How did his brother die?? Message me.

    Answer by dancer at 2:50 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • You should see about taking him to someone outside of the family to talk to.

    Answer by lovinangels at 3:04 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Jerrad is 26.His brother was killed in January.he was 31.

    Comment by bvannkissy (original poster) at 5:49 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • My daughter died in January. She was 27 and her brothers are 42 and 38. They are grieving very different from each other. The older is avoiding subjeck the other son is there for everyone and trying to take care of everyone. I think you can only be there for your son. But most of all take care of your self. Compassionate friends has groups in some areas for siblings.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:25 PM on Aug. 14, 2010