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I have been married for almost 4 years, we have seven months old doughter. lately i have been thinking about leaving my husband, the problem is we are totaly different in every way, he is extremly lazy, overweight and is the most unromantic man alive! he works hard, he is always at home when he is not working, he is wonderfull with the baby and all that , BUT he let himself go n has put on so much weight, he carries himself poorly, i means really bad poisture n drags his feet, he is so unatractive n is not making any effort to better himself, we can be sitting on the couch waching a movie, and when i look at him( this happens like 90% of the time) he is dosing n! i look at him, and then look at his huge tummy and isay to myself ," how on earth did i end up with him?? " i can never stop asking my self that question, why????? i know i should have known him well before marriage, but believe me i dont know why i ever did it!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Aug. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • When you discuss your feelings with him, how does he respond?

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:53 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • sealed lip


    Answer by m-avi at 2:54 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Have you tried talking to him? Maybe he has a poor self esteem and thats why he's let himself go, tell him that you love him but you want him to start taking better care of himself. For better or worse...................................

    Answer by browningmom at 2:59 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Been there. My husband gained about 50 with each of my 2 pregnancies but didn't loose it after the babies were born. He gained so much that sex became impossible. The last 3 years of our marriage we didn't have sex.

    However, if a woman gains weight during a marriage and a husband leaves her because she is unattractive and not making any attempt to better herself we would think he was awful. Your marriage may be able to be saved. I encourage you to go to counseling yourself or for you to go to counseling together.



    Answer by Gailll at 3:01 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Tell him to straighten up or get out. You have a right to expect him to maintain good health for the good of the family. You have a right to expect more from him than just being a human paper weight. Tell him what you do expect of him and the consequences if he does find some pride and dignity and fix things.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:04 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I agree that communication is key here. I don't believe in divorce after children. Hers's why-- No matter if you are married to the guy or not, you are going to have to deal with him for the rest of your life(because of your children). You might as well suck it up and make it work. It's better than dealing with him and all his new girlfriends and step kids.
    Again communication is key.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 3:20 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Oh honey the grass is always greener on the other side. You say he's a good provider, a good father. Were you attracted to him when you guys met? Are you helping him eat healthy? Going for walks together as a family? Are you encouraging him to exercise?
    Have a frank talk with him that you are very worried about his health and you would like to get healthy TOGETHER. A man with a good job and great parenting skills is a KEEPER. Remember those vows you took? In sickness and in health...

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 3:21 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • If he is fine in every other way, why can't you tell him you'd like to get healthy together? It seems like there has to be more to this - my DH has put on some weight and I still think he's the sexiest man on the planet (we've been together 7 years).

    Answer by Scuba at 3:38 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • You want to leave a wonderful man because he needs to shape up? Buy him a wii Fit, take him for walks, get him moving. Don't leave the poor guy.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 3:41 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • well maybe the reason you gave him a chance cause you thought he was nice & had a great personality but i hope you find what it is that made you attracted to him you should have a talk to him & tell him your feelings

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 8:02 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

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