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is it hard for an adopted child to adjust in a home that has biological children?

Ive always wanted to adopt a baby and my husband is in agreement that it would be a good idea because there are kids out there who need homes. Im about to give birth to my 2nd daughter any day now and i wonder would an adopted child have issues with there already being 2 biological children in the home? i would hate for the adopted child to feel any diffrent or as if they dont belong.


Asked by newmommyjazz at 3:07 PM on Aug. 14, 2010 in Adoption

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Answers (6)
  • I've heard of other cases where the bio children were always reminding the children who came into the family by adoption and making them feel somehow less than. Be sure that you do not tolerate that at all. I have two children who came into our family through adoption, and no bio children. I have given the matter a lot of thought, though. I would not want to have a bio child at this point if it would hurt the children we already have. Many families do have kids who came to them both ways, and I think that the fact that you are thinking about this is a good indication that you will try your best to make all kids feel equally loved and accepted.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 7:03 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I was adopted........ It depends on how your children treat the child. I was told not to call my mom MOM cause it isn't my mom. If you welcome them in and treat them like yours and the family treats them the same then things should work out well

    Answer by Claudiomom at 4:14 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I think it's going to be an adjustment for them either way, unless they are newborn. Make sure you have a good support system set up.

    Answer by lovinangels at 3:14 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • There are children who need homes, but, newborns are in short supply. There is great competition for newborns. Some children who are adopted do feel different, and some do not.

    Answer by Southernroots at 2:11 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Claudiomom said: I was told not to call my mom MOM cause it isn't my mom.

    Sorry to hear you were blessed to a 'better' life in adoption in this manner too.
    Did your adoptive parents EVER try to put a stop to this behavior by their bio kids?
    What kind of relationship do you have with these ( unrelated strangers) you grew up with now?

    I wouldn't wish this on any child, but thank you for speaking out and being here. It's comforting to have some company on our journey
    of being an adoptee in a real family.

    Answer by adopteeme at 6:11 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • And most likely, someone will show up here to tell us that this happens in only bio related families too.
    Where one child is bullied and pushed aside and made to feel different. Don't let it bother you.

    Personally, I hold APs to a higher standard than that. They chose to adopt, there was no oopps pregnancy and they got stuck with us. They paid $$ for the right to parent us. Raising one of us adoptees IS different than raising one of your own.

    Answer by adopteeme at 6:35 AM on Aug. 15, 2010