Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Why do i want what i can't have??

i've been with my DH for almost 10 years, we have to kiddo's 7 and 6. BUT he's annoying the hell out of me. he works ALOT, we (me and the kids) might see him 2 hours a day if that. and then the whole day on sunday, and i can't waiit for him to go back to work. i am very close friends with a guy, (use to be DH best friend) anyway i'll just say it, i have the HOT"S for this man. it's been almost 7 years. and i still think about him all the time. and the funny thing is. HE's see's me like a little sis. or not really even a "girl" and i am in no way his type. i know this, and i've never even let on that i have feelings for him. BUT it's still there for me. it just might be the fact that i am bored, and annoyed with the DH and just need something new. i know i am awful. i do feel bad about it. ugh i don't know what to do

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:13 PM on Aug. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Stop talking to the other guy, stop seeing him, just stop or you have to tell your husband. IMO you are on dangerous ground. Good luck!
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 3:16 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • It's very normal to feel the grass is greener on the other side of the fence...but it's also important to remember that's an illusion.

    DH is working his tail off to take care of you and your children, I'm sure it's hard for him to be away so much too. First off, I'd say get a babysitter lined up and go on a date with DH - remember those? Courting should never stop between a husband and wife, dates should keep happening.

    Try to remember why you fell in love with him in the first place, and enjoy your date.
    mogencreative

    Answer by mogencreative at 3:17 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Wow thats sad..you need to do things to spice up ur marriage. Cheating or even the thought of it is wrong...
    ROBIN6

    Answer by ROBIN6 at 3:18 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • My thoughts.. Based on what you shared.

    You are looking for aspects/qualities, seeing aspects/qualities in another man that you do not see in your husband. Whether that be: the way he talks to you, sees you, his personal aspects/qualities etc..

    You are longing for, thinking about, wanting, something that you feel is missing in your relationship with your husband.

    In the long run. If those feelings are not addressed, and the issues causing those feelings are not addressed and rectfified. The feelings will not only grow stronger, you run the chance of becoming even more discontent with your marriage/husband. Which can and does in most cases, cause frictions and resentments between the two of you.

    Look at yourself, your marriage.. What are you missing, needing wanting. Figure those things out. And honestly, openly share them with your husband. Tell him what you need, why you need it. Work together to address them.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:18 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Why are you tempting yourself? You need to tell your husband that your lonely and dont feel loved, most men make the mistake of that they are making money and that makes you feel loved. You need to look at that other man as a brother and only that, your asking for trouble by looking at him any different. Its hard when the DH is away, my dh farms so in the summer you and I are in the same boat. Please think of your kids, if you act on your feelings it will cause them harm too not just your marriage.
    browningmom

    Answer by browningmom at 3:21 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I agree with the above answers. Stop seeing and talking with him immediately. It has probably become a habit now for you to think of the guy and especially in this manner, so make yourself break the habit.

    Go out on dates with your husband. Once a month when my children were at home I'd get a baby sitter and my husband and I would go away for a night or a weekend. Not too far away, maybe a couple hour drive at most. We'd stay at an inn or a B&B and stroll around and look in the shop windows and just have together time. Hand in hand, choosing where to go for supper, chatting about this and that. All distractions were gone and it is only the two of you.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:21 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • It's HUMAN NATURE to want what we can't have. STAY AWAY FROM THE OTHER GUY!!!! Hire a babysitter and go on a DATE with your hubby just like you did BEFORE you were married.
    plclemo

    Answer by plclemo at 3:26 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Stay in your marriage. Your hubby sounds like a great guy!! Do u work? Maybe u should and your hubby could spend more time with the family.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 3:26 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Appreciate the fact that your Husband has a job and wants to work to take care of his family. How selfish of you to have those thought. Whether they are natural or not it's really disrespectful to your Husband. If you're lonely, bored, etc, talk to you Husband, give him the respect and chance he deserves to make things better. Now pull your big girl panties up and be the wife he deserves, and not the immature girl you sound like...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 3:34 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Get a job so he wont have to work so much and then he can spend more time with you and the kids:)
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 3:38 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
I CANT STAND HIM!!

Next question overall (Diet & Fitness)
Do you eat unhealthy?