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What do you think?

My boyfriend and I are dating for the second time. We dated for a year and 4 months before, were engaged and had a son, but broke up because things were not going well between us. We then took a three month break and got back together. We've been together for almost a year. During that break, he went out with a co-worker and a group of her friends because she invited him and he was lonely. They talk to each other at work (he 'll occasionally stop by her department on his way out or she'll walk by his to get to the break room) and have gone out with a group to get drinks since we've been back together. She knows of my existence, and my son's, and we've talked. She has told me that she has no feelings for him, and he has told me that he likes her as just a friend. Recently he has been in kind of a funk about his career, as he doesn't feel he's where he wanted to be in his life, and hasn't been as affectionate with me, but has

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countrygirl1987

Asked by countrygirl1987 at 6:08 PM on Aug. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (364 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • assured me that his funk and lack of affection has nothing to do with me, but the way he is feeling about his life. He is not the type to cheat whatsoever, so what I am wondering is should I worry about his friendship with his co-worker? I suggested to both her and him that they should talk whenever he's feeling stressed because he feels comfortable talking to her, and I want for him to be less stressed, which they have been doing, but it has all been friendly chat. He has been questioning the relationship (his and mine) while he is going through this funk, and I also suggested that we take some time apart from seeing each other so he could figure things out, which she told me he told her yesterday, and that he seemed upset. She said she could tell he cares about me. Also, he told me a few days ago that he doesn't want to have too serious of conversations with me because he feels like he has too much to lose. (Meaning losing
    countrygirl1987

    Comment by countrygirl1987 (original poster) at 6:11 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • It seems like your question was cut off...but I think his lack of affection could be from his "funk". You might try encouraging him to find what would make him happy in his professional life and persuing it.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 6:12 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Me. The main point of my overall question is to ask if I should be concerned by their friendship or if I should not let it bother me?
    countrygirl1987

    Comment by countrygirl1987 (original poster) at 6:12 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • My husband also has a work friend he is very close to and he talks with her a lot. They call it "coaching" where he works and I think it helps to have someone who knows where you are coming from because they are working with the same people. I wouldn't worry about it.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 6:13 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I just want to make sure I am not letting my insecurities affect my relationship. I wanted to ask others to see if they thought it sounded like I had anything to worry about, or if I 've just letting myself get carried away.
    countrygirl1987

    Comment by countrygirl1987 (original poster) at 6:18 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • If they were interested in each other for more than a friendship, then one of them would have made a move while he was separated from you. Going out with a group of co-workers or having a female friend co-worker is fine... seems like everything is on the up and up to me. (If they had a past or she gave you that skanky vibe, then I would worry... but otherwise seems okay)
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 7:16 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Why are you asking him to talk to her instead of you? I don't think I would be inclined to refer my SO to lean on another female for emotional support.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:19 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • It sounds ok to me. Not all women want to take someone's man. Lots of men have female friends.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:25 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I also didn't read anything wrong with what is going on. I wouldn't worry to much about them. But his funk seems like it could effect you guys. Relationship councilling couldn't hurt.
    crazymom21

    Answer by crazymom21 at 9:40 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I wouldn't let the friendship bother me, but that would be really hard because when it comes to my hubbs, I am VERY jealous. I think from the way you described it that it is pretty honest and nothing to concern yourself with but it obviously is. Maybe his funk is him worrying about how he is going to support you guys? Men are weird when it comes to that kind of stuff. My hubbs gets very depressed when it comes to our financial means because all we have to go off of right now is his disabillity and I can't work per dr orders. I hope I have been of some help, and feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to.
    halliebug

    Answer by halliebug at 10:37 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

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