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am i being to harsh?

i have a sd who is 5 years old and just starting kindergarten. this last weekend when she was with us she wanted to hold her new baby bother and instead of saying that she says "daddy my hands are all nice and clean, see see." i made a comment about why can't she just ask what politely for what she wants instead of this round about stuff which is honestly cute. her dad freaked out on me. I tried to explain to him that this round about stuff isn't going to work when she goes to school. He throws at me the fact that he only gets her every other weekend and that's why she gets away with it. honestly she gets away with this stuff with everyone. because she is the only child/granddaughter/niece etc

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natasha86

Asked by natasha86 at 7:38 PM on Aug. 14, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 15 (1,879 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • So he's not going to insist on basic manners when she's there only for the weekends.

    I read the Love and Logic books...so when my kids say something like your SD did I say, "I see!." Or if they say, "I'm thirsty!!" or whatever its, "How do you want to solve that problem>" I absolutely HATE hinting and round about ways of asking...lol.
    RainingHeart

    Answer by RainingHeart at 7:41 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • This is not a battle I would pick with my husband. It's not hurting anything and she knows who she can get away with stuff with. She will know or learn real fast how to ask for stuff directly at school. It's not hurting anyone, it may be annoying but she's only there every other weekend and she is only 5.

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 7:41 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Maybe you should just deal with the way she is for the every other weekend your DH has his daughter. if yopu had her all the time. I could see being more hard on her actions.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:44 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • Well she'll get a clue when school starts!
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 7:45 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I think its a bit harsh, what's the big deal really?? that is a way of asking, just half of the way
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 7:45 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I am on her Dad's side. I don't even see what you are objecting to. What the heck? You will make her so self conscious she will be afraid to talk around you. That WAS too picky of you.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 7:49 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • She's only five and if she's not being taught to ask for things directly, just being left to use the round about method, then she doesn't know any better. Once she starts school they'll correct her and teach her. I'd just let it go, it may be an age thing too that she'll grow out of. Don't push the issue with your husband, it isn't a big enough deal to have tension about.
    MummoloMom2010

    Answer by MummoloMom2010 at 7:52 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • At least she washed her hands....I think your being a tad harsh.
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 7:53 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • I'm with you,momma!

    I wish my ex DH's new wife would help me out and stop letting my ex treat him like a baby. I don't give a rat's behind if he only sees her every other week. He should have a hand in actually raising her instead of just using her as a cute little plaything. He IS the father and he needs to start acting like it. It may take a few weekends for her to realize that she is expected to act appropriately, but she will get it and they can go back to having fun as long as she is acting right. Just because he only sees her every other weekend does not mean he should not discipline her.

    My parents split when I was very young. I learned real quick that my dad would let me get away with anything. As I grew up, I saw it as him not caring. I got away with anything.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:58 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • And school will probably not fix the problem. If she gets away with it every where, the school will probably be blamed and she will just learn to either disrespect the school or just manipulate the school.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:00 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

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