Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Dont know what to do

My ex fiance was a abusive creep. His apparent last gift to me during a rape was HPV. This went undiagnosed for a while & presented like moles which the dr told me they were. My husband doesnt know about the rape or most of the abusive behavior that happend...Im 21 weeks pregnant now being told I have HPV...what do I do? Do i tell him about it? Every test they did always came back normal until yesterday. I went in for severe cramping in my back to find out I had a massive infection & HPV on top of it.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 AM on Oct. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Just be honest with your husband, its not your fault the asshole raped you or gave you an infection, I hope you pressed charges against your ex.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 7:53 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • If you have an honest relationship with your husband you need to tell him its not good to keep things from your husband, im sure he knows you didnt ask for it and im sure he wants to be there for you no matter what if he loves you he will know that n be there


    Answer by Mommy2Be1212009 at 7:54 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Just be honest with him. It wasn't your fault. The most he can be angry with you for is for not telling him sooner. He might feel bad that you didn't trust him enough to tell him, but he'll get over that. He won't blame you for the infection or the rape. Have you told him anything about your ex? If you've told him something, that will make it easier. Good luck, both with treating it and with telling him.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:11 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • He knows enough that he broke his jaw . I didnt tell him because right after we started dating within 6 months he deployed to iraq so i never had the chance. Im very upset over the whole mess so i didnt know if telling him would be the right thing till i calm down.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:38 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I'm sure your husband ended up contracting the HPV from you. Why didn't you want to tell him this? Sounds like your husband already lost his temper on the guy for things he did to you. And what does your doctor say? Is the HPV going to effect the pregnancy or the delivery?

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 9:17 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I didnt know until yesterday they are starting treatment immediatley for the just incase..No need to bit my head off im freaked & just wanted adviced

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • A rape is a very embarrasing thing . Especially finding out down the line something came out of it. If she had normal pap tests & everything she never would have known. Youd be suprised how many women actually have HPV and dont even know it. If shes ashamed & upset she needs to tell him in her own way when shes ready. Just because her husband already went off over the abuse she suffered doesnt mean he will react well to the news of a rape.

    Answer by fire_girl7281 at 9:43 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • yes explain it to him like u did with us he deserves to know. he might be upset but wouldn't anyone?
    keeping it from him might just mess up ur relationship in the long run exspecailly if he gets it..

    Answer by heavensent1174 at 11:24 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • How do you know for sure that the HPV was from your ex? HPV is passed on through genital contact & is also passed on by skin-to-skin contact. At least 50% of people who have had sex will have HPV at some time in their lives. Most people who have sex may get HPV. You are more likely to get HPV if you have: 1)sex at an early age, 2)many sex partners, or 3)a sex partner who has had many partners. If you are not sure who you contracted HPV from, then why tell your husband about the rape? It could be from him, or someone else. Rape is a really difficult issue for the victim as well as the husband. He might tell you that he's ok with the news, but I am sure he will have unpleasant thoughts and not tell you, being that you are the victim and he doesn't want to hurt you... Be honest with him regarding the test result though.

    Everyone has a past...

    Answer by plsadvanna at 1:02 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • He was the only man i had ever been with before my husband . I ran into another ex gf of the ex while at work and she has it as well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.