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Should we pick her up or let her cry?

I'm father. My baby girl is 2 months. She keeps crying until we pick her up; move her in forward and backward until she settles. She only likes certain position to be held in arm and no other way. Dr said: "Don't let your little baby bosses you two around like this?! I told my partner I believe, people around us can see we have been manipulated by our little one but we can't see it, my partner disagreed. She believes she tried it before, let her cried for at least an hour but not only baby not settled, and became more restless/stressed. She believes babies are different and one method would not work for all. She also stated last time she let baby cry, her sleep pattern became so messy and also vomited during crying. She believes we get there slowly. Are we spoiling our baby or should take it easy as every individual babies are different.


Asked by NasMoj at 8:09 AM on Oct. 7, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (43 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (37)
  • Fire your doc - stupid quack that she is.
    Do not let an infant cry alone - that is shameful neglective parenting.

    Hold your baby... like the little thing is trying to manipulate you???? WHAT!!!!!! she has been carried for nine months... and now you just let her cry and wail.... tha's how serial killers are made. Hold and love your baby there is gonna be a day when you can never hold her close enough again..

    Answer by mom23plus12b at 9:55 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • YOU CAN NOT SPOIL AN INFANT!!! A child has no other form of communication then to cry. Studies show a lack of trust, that sometimes follows the child for the rest of their life, is built by letting baby cry. The more you attend to the cries in the beginning the less of a crier you have later. By attending to baby's cries immediately you build a trust with baby allowing baby to feel secure. Baby cries less because they trust that you will be there when needed.  Here is a nice article about the subject.



    Answer by mama_l at 8:27 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Fire your doc - stupid quack that she is.

    Do not let an infant cry alone - that is shameful neglective parenting.

    Answer by ladysavage at 9:01 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Have you tried a swing or a vibrating bouncy chair? I wouldn't let a 2 month old cry like that and I believe in CIO, after like 7 months. At two months old babies just want to be held. Have you tried wrapping her up in a blanket tight like they did in the hospital. Are you sure she isn't cold, wet, hot, or hungry? Also, if your stressed out when your holding her then you will just make her more stressed out. You have to stay calm because thats the only way she will feel calm. Go with you partner on this you will get there the baby is little still pretty you'll be wondering why she never wants to be held.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:07 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • An infant cannot manipulate parents. Infants aren't laying in their bed thinking, "Wow, how can I mess with mom and dad today?" Their goal isn't to mess with you, their goal is to get their basic needs met. You want to let your baby know that they can trust you. You want to encourage love and support. When a child has a good foundation (love, trust, security) they are more comfortable branching out on their own and finding their own independence. If they learn abandonment (which is essentially what cio is) they feel distrust and insecurity, making it much harder for them to take chances as they grow, thus actually making them more manipulative and dependant on mom and dad. Pedi's are for medical advice, not parenting advice. There's a big difference.


    Answer by Ooftacat at 10:23 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Hello, your baby is only two months old.  There are reasons why she cries, if one of the reasons is to be held by you why not?? You are teaching her that you are there for her.  Pick your baby up when she cries, she will only be a baby once!!


    Answer by mommiedear at 10:30 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • youre father, !? cafemom is just for moms!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • At that age I don't know what to say. I don't think they can fully understand why you won't pick them up but, at the same time, if you keep giving in she will always expect that. I would say let her win the battles now because she just doesn't understand yet and later on let her cry it out. That's what I did with my son. Also, for all the people who say you "Can't spoil your baby in the first year" WHATEVER! LOL They are smarter than you realize and you can spoil them.

    Answer by BabyBreyen at 8:13 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I personally don't think you should let a baby that young cry and especially not for more than 10-15 minutes.

    Answer by sbastille at 8:29 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • If she is crying just to be picked up letting her cry it out for a 10 minutes is not going to hurt her, if you run and pick her up every time she lets out a whimper it's only going to get worse.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 9:05 AM on Oct. 7, 2008