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Tips for mom of a soon to be 5 year old being a ring bearer?

Z's first sitter is getting married 10/12 and while we said "yes" to being ring bearer almost a year ago, I'm dreading the event now that it's actually here. Wondering how he'll do, if he'll do it at all. The tux fitting was a disaster. The bride has already said if he walks in fine, if he decides to sit down with you that's fine. So she seems to be cool and realize that anything can happen with kids, but as the mom I'm feeling a lot of anxiety over what might happen. . Any encouraging ideas?! Help!


Asked by MommaE7 at 9:03 AM on Oct. 7, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • My son was 5 when he was the ring bearer. My daughter was JUST 3 and the flower girl. We set realistic expectations. We arrived at the church as late was we could get there without being late. We did not do all the 'pre-wedding' things because that simply added more time to their day. We practiced a lot at home - not pressure practice, but "let's play wedding march" practice. We had someone up front at the church ready to take either out if need be (Dh and I were in the wedding party also.) We had a change of clothes ready for the reception if the dressy clothes got to be too much for them. We had a stash of new books and activities for the reception too. :) The big thing is that children pick up on our emotions. If *YOU* are tense and nervous...he'll be tense and nervous. Take a deep breathe and know that this will be ok.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 11:53 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Put some small figet toys in his pocket for him to play with during the ceremony.

    Answer by Kimebs at 9:16 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • do not let him have the real rings! plan on him sitting down after he walks in. have a trusted adult in the front of the church with some little messless candy smarties to have him eat during the ceremony. I would stay away from toys you would hate for him to decide to play noisy. when my son was 5 he was ring bearer we had the candy and color book andcolored pencils in the front row but he stood up and was a little man for the whole thing so he may surprise you.

    Answer by Lyndall at 9:21 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Practice with him as much as you can. DOn't give him real rings and if he decides to stop try to move him along but, if he doesn't then let him sit. My son was my ring bearer when he was 2.5 and he was really good. He may surprise you.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:27 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • When we got married, our flower girl was barely three. Right up to the point that she and her brother were supposed to walk down the aisle, I told her brother (who was eight) they could say no and they could just go sit. No one would be mad at them (well, their Mom would have been, but I would have been okay).

    He got her down the aisle and once she finished down the aisle, she went to sit with her mom and grandmother. As a thank you gift, we had gotten her a stuffed toy and some games and things that she could play with in the pew and at the reception.

    The thing is to set your expectations low and relax. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. No matter what he does, he'll be cute and it will be fine.

    Answer by BethF144 at 7:42 PM on Oct. 7, 2008