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3 Bumps

Biting, hitting, head banging

My 22 month old son is very angry this morning. HE bites himself and me, throws and hits. He is getting his 2 yr. molars. Gave him teething tabs and tylenol. When I put him in time-outs for his biting, he bangs his head on the door and bites the back of his hand. This has been going on for a month or so. I recently took him & myself into a behavioral specialist and they see nothing wrong with him mentally or my parenting teqcniques. It almost seems like there is a demon inside him fighting to keep him angry. IDK what to do becasue nothing is effective. PLEASE HELP!

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Amberoz

Asked by Amberoz at 11:25 AM on Aug. 15, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (34 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Welcome to the terrible twos. Trust me, he'll do the head banging thing until he hurts himself, then he'll stop.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:27 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • so do I just ignore him & let him hurt himself???...I cant stand seeing him bite and beat on himself...
    Amberoz

    Comment by Amberoz (original poster) at 11:28 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • keep punishing him if he hits or throws things at you.

    as for him biting himself and banging his head on the floor, he'll stop that as soon as he does a bit too hard and hurts himself.
    My 4 year old DS was a head banger... until the day he hit the heating grate and got some lovely striped bruises across his forehead. He didn't do it again after that.
    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 11:28 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Maybe try something a little out of the box...when he's in one of his moods as strange as this may sound.....try being silly(singing dancing whatever will make him laugh at you). Do something to make him refocus and go from there. It may not solve the problem but it may give you a second to try and help him in an unraged state. Good Luck.
    Finkette

    Answer by Finkette at 11:29 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • yes, ignore it! he's doing it for attention. He won't do any serious damage, our bodies have a built in protection system against that. If he thinks you will pick him up and cuddle him if he bites himself or hits his head, he's just gonna do it more.
    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 11:30 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • There is no demon inside your son!


    Time outs don't work. They don't stop bad behavior and they don't teach good behavior. They make kids behave worse, lie, sneak, hurt others, and resent their parent. In your son's case it is feeding his anger. Psychologists know punishment based parenting, authoritarian, doesn't work and isn't desirable.


    A 2 yo has no real empathy. Appealing to empathy to try and get him to stop biting isn't going to work. Many adults don't have empathy! Biting him won't teach him why he shouldn't bite and is assult. Mini lectures don't work with toddlers.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:39 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Unless he is causing himself actual harm I would ignore it. He's looking for attention. Watch and see what's going on BEFORE he starts this behavior. He may be getting frustrated and not know how to expess it. Watch for the cues and redirect. It won't ALWAYS help but it will sometimes. If he still acts like that ignore him or just calmly tell him that when he wants to act like a big boy you will give him the attention he wants. My 2 year old does the same things but is doing them less and less now. Just be calm and have patience.
    mama2my2girls

    Answer by mama2my2girls at 11:42 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Actually the psychologist suggested to continue time-outs, one sentence lectures, and punishment. I agree with the previous posters...You gave NO advice, Gaill, just controdicted just about every technique that doctors suggest. wth!
    Amberoz

    Comment by Amberoz (original poster) at 11:43 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • What does work. Keep expectations simple. The message is no biting. You want to say it without using the word no, people are not for biting. Don't use the word please. Don't say it hurts. Don't lecture. Don't make it about you.


    Try to keep life for him in balance so he is less stressed. Kids usually do things like bite and have tantrums when they are hungry, tired, or frustrated. My grandson is the same age. You can do stress management things with him. Music therapy works with my grandson. Some other things that may work are yoga, massage, or guided imagry.


    Watch for behavior that leads up to biting and avoid it. If he is biting because of teething then give him things he can bite. Massage his gums and TMJ.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:49 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • PArents SHOULD be in charge....I don't understand your philosophy Gaill.....are you saying the kids need NO discipline or control?
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 11:51 AM on Aug. 15, 2010

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