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daughter/church/ME not impressed!! (have to get this off my chest!!)

i'm a single mom of my 6yr old, because of the hours i work (5am) i was forced to move back home w/ my parents, i grew up in a private school, & church every sunday..im 27 now, and havent been to church for 11 yrs, and i dont practice it, but my parents still do, so mornings like today when i had to work, my daughter goes to church w/ them, which i absolutely hate! but i really dont have a choice..since they are her babysitter..well today my daughter came home from church w/ her own bible, and the lady wrote in it "today alexis accepted the lord saviour jesus chris into her heart" HOLY CRAP that pisses me off!!!!!!!!! i frickin hate how theyre so pushy!! shes 6!!!! she doesnt know what that crap means!! UUGH im soooooo pissed!! this is the exact reason why i dont go to church!! and why i didnt want alexis to go. and the fact that my parents push it on her as well, pisses me off!

 
alexis_06

Asked by alexis_06 at 4:18 PM on Aug. 15, 2010 in Religious Debate

Level 42 (146,031 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • I "chose" to be baptized at 7, and I will admit I didn't know everything I needed to! I quit Christianity at 12, and never looked back. I would suggest asking her questions about what she believes- Who is Jesus? What does he mean to you? What is God like? How does God think you should act? If she can't answer those few simple questions, then it's obvious she doesn't understand.

    If she answers decisively talk to her about other religions- introduce her to Buddhism, Paganism, Judaism, Islam, Sikhism, Zoroastrianism. (Ok, taking a little far, but you get the idea.) I wish someone would have showed me all that religion has to offer. As of now I stand a firm Atheist, with a bad taste for all organized religion. When my son gets interested I intend to take him to any church he wants to, along with giving him simple books on religion. Just an idea or two!
    (I'd be extememly upset too!)
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 2:27 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • my suggestion would be to get the heck outta Dodge, or at least find a fast way to get out of your parent's home/babysitting-services, if this is your reaction to something you are so adamantly opposed to. you are fullly aware that she attends church with your parents..did you think none of the 'teachings' would set in? did you honestly think she wouldn't listen or eventually want to participate? if you don't want her in the church, then take her out. and find someone else to babysit for you...you'll probably have to fork out some money, eh?
    btw..i don't advocate baptising children without parental consent. so you need to have a big ADULT conversation with your parents about this. if you feel you must call the church, please do it with dignity and sound-mind. there's no reason to be hateful to whomever you speak to..afterall, the only thing that person may know is your child always comes to church with her grandparents.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 6:23 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I'm sorry that you are so upset. You mention that you went as a child, quit going at 16, and now resent it. If you were raised in church, then you may remember children or friends who received Christ into their hearts at a young age. Children understand a lot of things. They take things at face value. I know of children younger than 6 who have made this decision.

    I will tell you, though, it will be hard for her to grow without YOUR support. If she feels that she has done something wrong because of your response, then she may have a confusing road up ahead. I'd ask you to, (since you live at home and since you are "stuck" with them as babysitters) to search your own heart and find out what makes you angry about this, then talk to your parents. But your daughter hasn't done anything wrong.

    BTW, It's pretty common for people who got saved at an early age to re-affirm their decision as an adult. Sorry you are so upset!
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 4:26 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Well I dont know your dd. But my oldest dd and ds knew what it meant from going to church everyweek if they wanted to go-it wasnt forced-and both were baptized by 7yrs old. You need to talk to your dd and trust she knows more than you are giving her credit for.
    momto3infl

    Answer by momto3infl at 4:48 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Ugh, I feel awful for you Mama. It IS your right to tell your parents that she is YOUR child. I have been in your shoes too in a way. We lived with my inlaws for a bit and they TRIED to take over our lives too. I put a stop to that and fast.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:25 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • First of all let me say up front I am a Christian. But if she doesn't understand then why get angry about it?? If it was a good, enjoyable Sunday for her, why is that a bad thing?? Is what she being taught going to turn her into a six year old terror??

    I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I am just trying to put things in perspective for you. My guess is you don't plan on living with your parents for long and this is temporary. How much "damage" will her visits do to her? And if this is a permanent solution for you, maybe you need to find some friends who would be willing to keep her on Sundays.
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 4:27 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • If you can do so without making life at home unlivable, I would suggest you call the church directly and make it plain to them that your parents are not the legal guardians of your child and they do not have the right to baptize her without your involvement or permission. Ask them how they would feel if someone took their child to a religious gathering without them and had them join a different religion without consulting them first if they don't understand why it bothers you. That is something that is between you and your daughter, and the church had no right getting involved there without your presence.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 4:43 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Instead of getting angry, talk to your daughter about what it is you believe. Do this in a respectful way to your parents beliefs since they have very kindly invited you and your daughter to live with them. This has to be a lot on their shoulders too. You can talk to your daughter about other faiths, or beliefs. Take her to a library and check out a lot of books on different topics. Use this as a learning opportunity for her with out taking it out on your parents who are just following their own beliefs in their own home.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 4:54 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I agree...I'm also non-religious, so I can understand where you're coming from, but @ the same time, she has no idea wth they're talking about and she had fun, so I personally don't see a big deal about letting her play around w a bunch of kids for an hour or 2.
    nappeal

    Answer by nappeal at 5:51 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • BTW, OP, most churches that I know of would NOT baptize a child without YOUR consent. Even if they came with grandparents or a friend or on the bus, etc. So if you do NOT want her to be baptized, that would be YOUR decision. However, I'd gently talk to your DD about how she feels about it.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:42 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

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