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Whats going on with dd?

She is just about to start senior year. She has gone on two adventures this summer with two different church camps. But her attitude toward me is getting so bad! She has started snapping at me, punched me in my arm while I was driving last week and is starting to put down everything I do or dont do. What the heck is going on? I hate being around her when she starts acting like this toward me. How do you put an almost 18 yr old on time out at this point? lol

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Aug. 15, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • first of all, do not tolerate physical abuse. my daughter attacked me physically when she was 14 and when it first happened i just did not know what to do... the next time it happened a couple months later, i called the police on her (she sat in juvey intake for several hours - i did not press charges on the advice of my stepdad who said once they are in the system it's hard to get them out). that was enough to stop that shit. do not defend yourself or engage in conversation when she starts talking to you like crap. this is verbal abuse. tell her you are not to talk to me that way. walk away, kick her out of the car if in a safe place, do not do this girl favors, etc. nip this crap in the bud quickly. she may be taking drugs. don't dismiss that possibility no matter how good she has been or how many talks you've had.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:19 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Tell her she can't treat you that way. There is definitely an underlying cause, but unless she wants to talk to you you'll never know what it is.

    If I were you, I'd tell her that unless she starts treating you with respect and like a person, one that cares about her at that, she has to get out of your house and you wont be driving her around.

    She needs to know that she can't walk on you or treat you like crap. Tough love is what they call it.
    Deathlilly

    Answer by Deathlilly at 5:29 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • You start by stripping her room of everything that isn't necessary. She only need a bed, some clothes, an alarm clock, and a lamp to read by. Homework can be done supervised at the kitchen table. Computer time needs to be supervised. She's not going to act like a young adult then do not treat her like one. Freedom of being an adult comes with the showing of respect and responsiblity. Until she does turn 18 she is still a child and if she is acting like a child treat her like one. And if she ever hits you again, you look her straight the eyes and tell her out and out that it is abuse and assault.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 6:30 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Stop letting her get away with it. Put your foot down now before it gets worse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • You do need to sit her down and talkto her. Straight talk. SHe is an adult now and she can take it. SHe needs to know she can not hit you and she absolutely MUST respect you. No ifs,ands or buts about it. She could have caused an accident that could have not only hurt or killed you two,but other people too,but the respect issue is the main issue because if she had that covered,everything else would be covered. If she cant handle that,she needs to understand that she needs to find a place to live. I know it will be hard for you. I cant imagine,but I cant imagine my dd hitting me either. That is not acceptable!
    phall1069

    Answer by phall1069 at 5:39 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • My daughter's in the same situation and I think they're starting to get scared about seeing the end of high school, especially if they don't know what they want to do after that. Definitely sit down and have a talk with her, let her know that you're there if she needs to talk about what's bothering her but that her behavior is unacceptable and will not be allowed.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 8:29 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Maybe she is just getting freaked out that she is starting her senior year,but hitting you is NOT ok,under ANY circumstances. My dd just graduated from highschool and she is SO stressed about getting prepared for college. She actually had to go on antidepressants because she has a seritonin was off balance,too which caused her to be grouchy and cry at the drop of a hat. Another thing-just because thsee kids go to a church function she hangs out with,does NOT mean they are good kids.It just means they could be using that as something to do and to 'cover' so their parent wont suspect them of getting into stuff they are. Believe me,my dd has told me stories about the people whose kids go to church every Sunday who are way worse than she ever thought of being and we dont attend a church. I think we've done a pretty good job with her,if I do say so myself. Hope you can get this figured out. I know how much you love her.
    phall1069

    Answer by phall1069 at 5:35 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Disrespect should never be allowed, you must have allowed it at some point or she wouldn't be doing this, do not put up with disrespect ever.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:13 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • She is displaying her lack of respect for you. It's very difficult to teach that at the age she now is. What you can do is take away all the stuff that you provide for her. Dr. Laura Schlessinger recommends leaving a mattress on the floor and 2 changes of clothes in the closet. You explain to her that you have given her all the things because you loved her, and that you expect her respect to be shown in return. Since that has obviously not happened, then you have no alternative except to take the stuff away. You can either sell it or store it in the hopes that she will get her act together.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:16 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I agree with Twinsplus2more. I would also take away her car keys and get her a bus schedule.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 2:22 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

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