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2 Bumps

Finding Better Friends that don't..............

Well stab you in the back. I have grown up in the Charleston,SC area most of my life and all of my highschool friends have gone their own ways(not good ones) and I on the other hand got married at 21,have 2 awsome children,and a loving Airman that I have been married to for 8 years in Feb. I am loyal,kind,good listener,and one hell of a goof ball.
I just don't seem to have any luck with other women. I am tattooed and I'm sure that may play into it alittle bit,but believe it or not I'm shy.I do smoke(quittiing as we speak), don't drink. Are there somethings I'm doing wrong.I'm not a social butter fly but I am willing to try just about anything to find some good friends. Sorry just had to put myself out there.

Answer Question
 
MommyInk2

Asked by MommyInk2 at 6:18 PM on Aug. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (46 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I think it's dumb luck when you'll meet somebody you click with. I had zero friends back where I lived my entire life. Last year we moved an hour away and , bam!, I met Beth. We have been inseparable ever since. She has proved she is a true friend.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 6:21 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • You need to look to the moms in the area. Maybe at the school your kids go to or the parks or playgroups. It easiest when you have something in common with someone. If all your high school friends have moved on and not in the same way as you, it's hard to keep that connection. Good Luck!

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 6:22 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Isn't the South known for this kind of thing? Okay, stereotype but....you should not change anything about yourself to fit in. You are who you are and that's a good thing! If they don't like the tattoos, that's their issue, not yours. If you're kind then that is what one should judge you upon. Could be you're the odd woman out who's put on this earth to teach the women around you. Not vice versa, you know? Go to places where you feel "safe and not judged" like a cool coffee or tea shop or a yoga class or at an Indian restaurant or something just not normal to where you are living. You may find good women in these kinds of places rather than at the local Starbucks or high end gym. Does this make sense? Good luck!
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:22 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I'm sorry.... Where are you meeting these women? I had issues with other women backstabbing, stealing from me and taking my kindness for weakness.... I was meeting them at clubs and a bar I worked at..... Now I have learned to be very picky about who I let into my life and I have become more assertive and don't let people take advantage of me.... GL!!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 6:25 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Have you checked out meetup.com yet? You can join groups based on your interests and location. That way you have more of a chance of meeting people you click with and similar to. Good luck. ;)
    kksmomma1019

    Answer by kksmomma1019 at 6:25 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • i know how you feel, every female friend ive came across stabbed me in the back either by rumors or tryin to take my man. i have made a few guy friends to hang with but its not the same as hanging with women. i wish i could find at least one female friend that will actually be a real friend and do stuff together...
    im shy at first but also very blunt. i have tats and piercings...3 kids and married 8 years, i smoke but dont drink or party....im not sure why i have problems with women....i think im easy to get along with and open minded...
    gothmama91

    Answer by gothmama91 at 6:26 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I'm with the moms area also, it''s just there are no moms in SC on Cafe. Weird right. I have tried playgroups and they always ended up as bitch sessions. I just need to move, if the airforce would just say we can.
    MommyInk2

    Comment by MommyInk2 (original poster) at 6:26 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Making friends is hard, but most of the friends I made were through my kids. I lived here for 3 years before I made any friends! My longest known friends have been around for 14 years. I've gone through lots of friends because, it's hard to find women friends with same values, interest and need of conversation.It's even harder to find those who don't need to go shopping, complain about husband, or kids and just enjoy doing nothing, Hang in there, find a book club, take an art class or something that interest you then friends will follow!
    josts

    Answer by josts at 6:32 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • It is extremely hard to find someone to click with I have tried for years I am kind of in the same boat as you where I don't drink and I think that could be a part of mine I know all the ladies here in my sub division all drink and I don't fit in. I probably could have other things in common with them but they can't get past the no drinking thing I guess.
    Try looking in your area where the kids all meet at i'm sure there are other moms just like you there.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 6:40 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

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