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3 Bumps

should i take my moms $$ or keep my job??

I have been a teacher for 6 years. I have always wanted to stay at home with ds - but never could afford to. Last year i was almost laid off - this year the same - for budget reasons. i was so excited to get to stay at home and collect unemployment but both years it has fallen through at the last second. I was talking to my mom about it last year and she tells me that she could give me 10 grand if i wanted to use that for bills and that i should cash out my retirement to pay for the rest of the expenses for the year. sounded too good to be true.. but now it makes sense. my lil brother just got married. he has been mamas boy forever, she always helped him with $$ and expected to control him with it. Now he has finally moved out of her basement (lol) and she is single. She called today saying she isnt giving me the money until i do an accounting on all the bills i expect this year, what... (cont)


Asked by AmaliaD at 7:08 PM on Aug. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (12,263 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • thats is hard to say

    Answer by regian19832002 at 12:42 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • If you know she'll try to control you with it then I say don't take it. Never sell your soul to the devil lol.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 7:19 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I would not cash out my retirement plan (BIG penalties and also that money is for your retirement), and I wouldn't quit my job either. Working to provide for yourself and your family also teaches your children a good work ethic. I see no reason to be accountable to Mom because you're living off her money when you certainly don't need to.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 7:37 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • If your going to be owing it back, by as you say being her bitch, Id say NO.. Stand on your own 2 feet. She may hold it over your head you know her best, and there's no turning back. Not sure if you can cash in retirement, have you checked on that? It's for just that, when you retire, and with the way things are going, you just might need it more later.

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 7:21 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Personally, I would keep the job. You might need that retirement money when you're old.

    Answer by DigiScrapperMom at 7:22 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Well ... you're an adult. Should you behave like an adult and pay your own way, or should you let mommy pay your way? It sounds like mommy feels that any adult child who wants her to pay their way still needs her to make their decisions for them too - I get where she's coming from.

    Answer by missingruth at 10:49 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Bad, Bad, Bad idea. You are a teacher, don't you get summers off anyway??? If you cash in your retirement, not only are you losing your retirement, but you are are going to get HAMMERED on taxes!!!! People don't understand that when you pull out a pension or and IRA, when you do your taxes at the end of the year, you will probably end up owing with your taxes, instead of getting a refund. Plus, teaching jobs are impossible to come by. If you quit now, what makes you think it will be that easy to get a job after your son starts Kindergarten?? Don't do it! Unless you want to be trying to catch up for the rest of your life. Don't get me wrong, being a SAHM is very commemorable, but if I were you, I would keep the teaching job and spend all my free time with my kids.

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 7:23 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I'm assuming as a teacher you have the school schedule with weekends and holidays, plus summers, off? That is a great schedule when you have children. And I am concerned about you taking the retirement money. Aren't there penalties to do that? You will need that money in the future. Given all these things I think you'd be wiser to keep your job. I think you deserve more than being your mom's B. GL!!

    Answer by elizabr at 7:27 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I would not cash out a retirement unless there was a Major Financial hardship. Your retirement is there for your future! You most likely will not be able to live just on just Social Security when you are older, then what? I am sure you make more than $10,000 per year teaching but if she wants to give it to you then fine but Do Not cash out a retirement. That money keeps appreciating & gaining interest through the years. Why not take a leave of absence or substitute teach or tutor on weekends or evenings? I am really surprised your Mother would recommend to cash out your retirement. That is THE LAST thing you should do.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 7:28 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • including what i will get for my retirement (which i have told her several times - they wont send you and exact # until you actually cash it out - you can estimate it.) I havent quit my job yet and i am just wondering... like ... is this a terrible idea... yeah i will get to stay at home with ds for his last year before K ... but she is going to use her money to control every aspect of her life... i dont know - if you were me - what would you do?? take the $$ from mom and be her bitch... or just keep your job and say hell with her i dont want to be apart of that game, and miss that time with ds, but be able to stand on my own feet...

    Comment by AmaliaD (original poster) at 7:11 PM on Aug. 15, 2010