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Pressure to get married

MySOs family is pressuring us to get married. We have a common law marriage certificate. We have a 2 yr old daughter together and now I am pregnant again. Its actually more pressure for a wedding than anything. He and I have made it clear that that is not what we want right now. We consider eachother husband and wife. We have joint bank accounts, joint car, health, and life insurance. Right now a wedding is not the hugest priority. How can we make it even more clear?


Asked by leksismommy at 9:18 PM on Aug. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 25 (22,485 Credits)
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Answers (16)
  • Just tell them this is not their business I had that fight only my mom wanted us to get married at the courthouse. You do whatever you have to.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:31 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • why is it so important to THEM??? are they giving you reasons or just saying you should?? eh - let them waiste their breath on it, some people always force marriage - I say if you are happy - don't let other pressure you to change your situation!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 9:20 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Marriage is optional. I do not feel that it is necessary to pay the government to become involved in your relationship. If you have joint accounts, a living will and property will then you have it covered. If the house is in one person's name only you can put it in a survivor deed so that it will automatically go to the other person if anything happens. I love how so many people harp on the importance of marriage when throughout history it has been for security and financial gain (usually the husband's). The idea of marriage for love is a relatively new turn in human history.

    Answer by LittleWeloosMom at 9:34 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • What state are you in where you have a Common Law Marriage Certificate? How long did you have to live together to get that? I've never heard of it so just wondering.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • All they're saying is that it is an important memory in your life together. And I am pregnant now, I dont want to be in a wedding when Im pregnant. They say that my SOs mom got married when prego and its no big deal. Not only me, but my husband tried to sit his family down and lay down the law, but its not working

    Comment by leksismommy (original poster) at 9:23 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • My dfs are the same way! It gets really annoying. I just tell them that this is what works for us and to mind their own.

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 9:25 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I live in Colorado. 2 years of living together is enough. We got a blank form from his job ( mainly to get insurance together) and it stated that in the eyes of society we consider each other husband and wife. and got it noterized. It came with a packet of 'rules' like a common law marriage doesnt have a common law divorce( we would really have to get divorced )

    Comment by leksismommy (original poster) at 9:27 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • There are a few states that have it.

    Answer by MTM at 9:28 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Just tell them to back off. You could always elope! :)

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 9:28 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Every one loves a good party. Women love the planning and decorating while the men like to shake their booty on the dance floor after consuming the booze you have provided them. Getting married is more for everyone else, and if a couple wants it then all are happy. I don't think they are upset that you are not married, they just want a wedding.

    Answer by at 9:31 PM on Aug. 15, 2010