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What do you do while you are waiting to start marriage counseling?

We are still under the same roof. We have 3 kids. He lied AGAIN. Not cheating - something else. I want to be done but I owe it to the kids to give it one last shot. Anyways I am still cleaning, cooking, & doing laundry for him but I am sleeping in the kids room. I just want to avoid him! We are starting counseling soon but since I am ignoring him now he says I'm acting like a b*t^h. I just can't say anything nice to him so I don't say anything!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Aug. 15, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I'd call him out! HE lied...so even if you are being a bitch, you really owe him nothing...you're doing it for your kids...be as much of a bitch as you want! Thats my opinion.
    xoxticiaxox

    Answer by xoxticiaxox at 9:40 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Try to work it out yourself. You got married, and marriage is that one relationship you arent supposed to give up on. Sit down with him, and look back at your wedding day. Watch videos, look at pictures, and share memories of even before you got married. Think of the reason you got married in the first place, think of your vows, think of what you wanted out of your marriage when you first got married. Then look at whats going wrong, and just talk to each other about how to solve it. Tell him how you feel to his face dont hide anything and tell him to do the same.
    xmama_bellax

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 9:41 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I would suggest reading The Love Dare, Watching FireProof and trying to communicate with him about the fact that he has lied and any other problems you may have. You have Children together and the best thing you can do for them is work this out with their Father.
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 9:53 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Do what you have to do and wait until counseling starts to talk to him maybe the third party might help?
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:38 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • be done why waste your time..
    MTM

    Answer by MTM at 9:40 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • it will take time before you trust him he cheated and he has nerve to call you a bitch ask him if you had affair how would he feel ,not so good.what was he thinking or i should say he was not thinking.before you can for give him you must get mad .and couseling may help or it may not.he has to earn your trust some thing he took away from you .you forgive him but you will never ever trust him it some thing that you give to some one you respect and love
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 10:22 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Ask yourself what you are doing that contributes to whatever problems are in your marriage. We always want to blame all the problems on the other party when in truth, we are probably contributing equally as much to them. If your husband lies to you, why is he afraid to tell you the truth? If you can't come up with the answer, ask him. And be prepared to really hear what he has to say. I am all for drawing some boundaries in marriage and for enforcing those when they are crossed. The problem is that most people don't have clearly defined boundaries and they just gripe and fuss about things when they get really annoyed. Try stating what your boundaries are, and what he has done that violated those. Then you have the right to say what you will or will not do the next time the boundary is crossed or ignored. Ask him what he would like to see you do or handle differently, and be willing to make some of those changes, too.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:26 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • The problem ,so everyone knows, is that he is smoking pot after promising on our wedding vows that he would not. Now he thinks since he "came clean" everything should be fine. Well it's not fine! I'm not fine! This isn't the first time he has lied about pot.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:44 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • srry to say he not gonna stop till he wants too...maybe the session will help...just be careful...sounds like he mad now...
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 11:37 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • i wish you luck hun
    regian19832002

    Answer by regian19832002 at 12:32 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

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