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Good idea or not?

Today while searching through my MILs basement (they are remodeling so they wanted my husband to go thru his things) we found pictures of his x who is also is the mother of his son. She however is not involved at all in her sons life and has not been for over a year now. He still remembers her and we let him freely talk about her and ask questions. We tell him his mommy loves him but she is not ready to be a mommy yet which is okay because she needed help to raise him and it is okay to ask for help. My daughter is in a similar situation only her bio sees her about 2-3 hours a year. Neither parent want to be involved (my DDs dad says he does but makes no effort and DSs mom seemed to fall off the face of the planet) We thought the kids would like to each have a pic of their bio parent. We think it will be satisfying to have something to look at and remember them by. Good or bad idea? (DD is 5 and DS will be 5 in October)


Asked by ABusyBee at 10:54 PM on Aug. 15, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I don't see any harm in it. I think it is healthy and very big of you to acknowledge that your stepson - who still remembers and probably misses his birth mom - would like to have that.

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 10:57 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I think you guys are handling this in a very honest and wonderful manner. :) I say the pics are a great idea.

    Answer by Jessica157 at 10:56 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I think you should ask them. Be sure to tell them that it is their decision. Only if you think they are capable of making that decision. What does your husband say about it? If it was me, I would let the past stay in the past. They really don't need to hold on to any false hope that their parents may come back some day.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:03 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • sounds like a good idea to me =)

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:55 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • Great idea.

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 10:59 PM on Aug. 15, 2010

  • I think it is a good idea. You have been very open and "age appropriately" honest and as long as your stepson remembers his birth mom then go for it. And you could definitely ask what they want. Maybe they won't want a picture of someone they don't know very well, but leave it up to them. You should be proud of how you have handled the situation - not all people are as caring as you. Letting the child know they are still loved by their birth parent helps them to understand that it isn't THEIR fault that mom/dad left and they did nothing wrong. Good job mom!

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 2:42 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I say keep the pictures and when he(she) asks let him see her them. My Gr-DD is adopted and as she gt odler ( abt 8) she wntd to just see what her Dad looked like. She was curious so my DD had an old picture and gave it to her, it ended her curiosity. I'd say yes when they ask.

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 8:48 AM on Aug. 16, 2010