Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump


Me, my husband and my oldest son have been living with my in-laws for almost 2 years now. And back in november we broght home another little boy. Well i work and my kids have kinda clung to my mother in law. I dont always agree with why she punishes my oldest son. How do i tell her that i dont agree or how i want it to be?


Asked by afarmer at 12:07 AM on Aug. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 7 (204 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Parents and grandparents in the home. This is hard on the kids. Tell your MIL that it's your responsibility to punish the kids not hers. He's your child not hers. He probably also resents the fact that she tells him what to do. Don't forget, there is always two sides to every story. Talk to her and then your son (not necessarily in that order), and see what's going on. Tell her that if he needs to be punished, that you and your husband will do it. Most importantly, you need to get out of her house as soon as possible, it's not fair for your kids to live under two sets of rules. State what you want followed and stick to it.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:35 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Is she taking care of the kids while you work? In that case, I'd say you have to either let her give the consequences he needs when he's under her supervision, or find different childcare.
    If she's not taking care of the kids while you work, then, yeah, you need to speak to her to draw the lines about who will be the parent. Don't wait until you explode about it (as I did today with my dad) but talk about it calmly to help her understand that she needs to step back and let you parent your children. Tell her specifically about what you do and do not want her to do with/for your kids.
    Even if she's caring for the kids while you're at work, you can still tell her to let you parent your kids when you are at home.

    Answer by debbymichelle at 12:53 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • just tell your mother in law that when you are their the kids need to respect you and know that you are their so you will do the punishing. tell her you dont agree on why she is punishing themand they are your kids and you would like he to not punish him as much or on whatever you dont like. its hard though i was inthat situation and they think that just because the already raise them they know more than you but sometimes you just dont agree with what they are doign and best thing to do is to let her know. and make sure you tell her the kid are your responsability and you will see how you raise them. because sometimes if the kids get punished from someone and then the oposite from th other they wont learn whatever you want to teach them they will be confuse because someone tells them yes do it and then someone else tells them no dont do it

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 12:08 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Been there, done that, I feel for you.. The best way is to just flat out tell her what you don't agree with and how you want it done or find someone else.

    Answer by blessedmama4 at 11:15 PM on Aug. 18, 2010