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Does the apple fall far from the tree?

Do you think that you are most like your mother or grandmother? I think that everything skips a generation. My grandmother was a tough-love mother, my mom was soft and spinless, I am more like my grandmother, and in so many ways. So is that how it works? Do you try to do everything that your mother did not?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Aug. 16, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • I'm definitely more like my mother, thank God. She's the best mother I've ever known, and I figure if I'm even half the mother she's always been, I'll be just fine. :)

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 10:27 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I do believe that I am like my mother in some ways but I know that I have also used her methods as a guide of WHAT NOT TO DO in raising my own children or in being a wife or a happy human being. I knew my mom loved us and our basic needs were met, but she was depressed and dealing with a lot while we were children so we were a burden to her. I actually have an aunt who, despite having an extremely rough childhood herself, is the epitome of what it is like to be a good, loving, accepting mother ... I find myself more like her than my own mom.

    Answer by FootballMom85 at 10:03 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • i am hellbent on being the total opposite of how my mother did things. my mom was totally unorganized, she was easy going to the point where i knew that there were going to be no punishments or consequences. her and my father never got along so i actually drive myself to anxiety and stress to be nothing like her and to have my life nothing like it was in my family growing up.

    Answer by xtwilightx at 10:04 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I'm a mix of both but also very different from both - not opposite just very different. I'm not sure I'm like anyone in my family...

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:10 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I am just like my mom, and not much like my grand mother. Me and my mom are easy going type parents. My grandmother was strict.

    Answer by ashjacks4 at 10:11 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I believe that reactionary mothers do tend to move directly away from their mothers' methods, and since that kind of thing runs in families it would appear that mothering methods skip a generation.

    Happily, there is a third choice: thoughtful mothering. Doing what did work, learning new techniques and researching better methods, and discarding what didn't work doesn't end up with that mindless rebellion that creates (as you have explained) as many problems as it is intended to solve.

    The mothers who grow up saying 'I'll never shout at my kids' or whatever, are often as lacking in alternative effective methods as the mothers who shouted at them all the time... the net result is that children may not be shouted at (or whatever), but they may be bribed or threatened or emotionally manipulated, or bullied just as inappropriately as if mom had been spending her time swearing the house down.

    Answer by LindaClement at 10:15 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • i was young when my grandmother passed away so i dont know what she was like.. in some ways im like my mom, in other ways im not. i use her as a guide, use what i like

    Answer by 3xangel at 10:15 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • IDK, i am like no one in my family. I'm sure i have some similarities here & there, but as a whole...i am totally different from any of them. Same goes for my DH, he may look like his dad & mom, but his character would make you think he came from a total different gene pool.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:41 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • No it does not. My mother has turned into my grandmother and all her "loveliness". I've always been a bit more like my dad.

    Answer by MythicMMM at 10:56 AM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • yeah i do believe you can be like your mom or grandmother but you can always try to be better then they were if you dont mind how they were but if you didnt then yes try your best to be better then they were

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 11:41 AM on Aug. 16, 2010