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My co-worker is gay...

I have nothing against gay people, to me, they are just people. But, I work with 6 men. With the other guys I always ask 'hows the wife/girlfriend, etc' - I am the only one who knows this guy is gay, so do i just not ask 'hows the boyfriend' or what? I don't want to treat him differently, but I also don't want to share his business... any suggestions?


Asked by allfiller at 12:00 PM on Aug. 16, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 12 (802 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • If he's not open about it, just ask him about himself, as you would treat any guy who was not dating anyone. How was your weekend? Hows the new house/bike/whatever.

    If he has a partner, ask about him in private.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 12:04 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • How about,"how was your weekend?"

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:03 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • If you are the only one that knows he is gay, then when you are alone with him it is completely appropriate to ask how is boyfriend is?

    In a group setting, talk to him about something else. If they guy was not gay and just single... couldn't you find something else to talk about. "What did you do this weekend?" ect. If you find out he has a hobby or is into something, you can make your polite conversation about that.

    You are just making light convo... keep it light and for sure... don't spill the beans on his private life. If he trusted you, you need to be worthy of that trust. It is not your place to OUT someone, especially at work. I am for people be out of the closet, but unfortunately discrimination is a very real thing and someone should be allowed to go to work without having everyone in their business. There are lots of things that happen in our personal lives that we choose not to tell co-workers

    Answer by Niki_sd at 12:06 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • He might not want to share it with you either.


    Answer by Morgain at 12:06 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • can not believe that you start every conversation with the straight guys with..."How is your wife"
    so just drop the wife part and treat him as any other co worker
    how was your weekend
    read any good books lately
    have you seen the new movie__
    can you believe the weather we have had lately
    want to place an order for ___ we are ordering for lunch
    have you heard about ___


    Answer by fiatpax at 12:09 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • You can say, "how's everything," 'how's your life" "what did you do last night?", etc, but be prepared, if he got up to gayness, he's gonna tell you gay stuff.

    If that's gonna offend you, try, how are you.

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:04 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Howabout asking about him by name? That shows that you care enough to learn the name of his partner. I think it would be awkward to ask "How's the boyfriend" as opposed to "How's Tim?"

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 12:10 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • fiatpax, I don't just start every conve out like that. But I always ask the guys how their families, etc are. Its a small company and everyone is pretty close.

    Posters, thank you I will try some of your advice.

    Comment by allfiller (original poster) at 12:13 PM on Aug. 16, 2010